


Forever Waiting

by LegendOfPanties



Series: Forever Waiting [1]
Category: Inuyasha - Fandom
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Child Abandonment, F/M, Fluff and Angst, POV Female Character, Romance, Running Away, Smut, Strong Female Characters, teen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:17:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 31,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegendOfPanties/pseuds/LegendOfPanties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious demon had abandoned Rin when she was only ten years old to live with Lady Kaede, in a village full of humans. Rin slowly grows up confused when all the villagers are convincing her that this beautiful golden eyed demon doesn't exist. If that wasn't bad enough, her only friend she had made is being sent off to be married, and Rin fears, she too will be next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Young Mind

His golden eyes were watching my own. He looked like he was filled with a tiny bit of regret. Her own were filled with curiosity.

It was cold outside, and the little girl was shivering, obviously her human body could not take the cold. The land that was in view was completely covered in white, the trees were barley able too show their green color and the ground wasn't able to show its brown dirt. Animals enjoyed the weather since it made it easier to hide from the hunters, and the hunters enjoyed the winter since it made the hunt harder and more exciting.

"What's wrong Lord Sesshomaru?" The little girl in the worn down outfit asked. Her face was worn out for a girl her age, but she still looked young but it was painfully obviously that this innocent child had seen much disaster in her young age.

"Rin… You must…" Was all the full breeded demon let out. He was a proud demon, he despised humans, yet he was soft with this one, and that was one of the many reasons he knew he must let her go. Keeping her would only cause disaster, and he didn't want her to suffer anymore than necessary.

"What must I do Lord Sesshomaru? You know I'll do anything for you!" Rin, the young girl told the demon Sesshomaru, she innocently smiled at him, and he didn't deserve it.

"You must stay in this village, with a women I am acquainted with" He finally let out, it was the biggest part of his guilt, because she would not be spending a little time in the village, she will be spending her entire life in it.

Rin look up to the demon in obvious confusion. "If that's what lord Sesshomaru wants," she said with hesitation in her voice. She didn't like the look in her master's eye.

He then picked her up and flew her to the village leaving her at the village entrance. "Goodbye my little companion" he said in a sweet voice that didn't feel like it belonged to him, and then disappeared.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" The little girl said into the nothingness around her, looking for him, endlessly, and then would be fated to be forever waiting.

////Rin's Eleventh Winter////

I stood outside the village in the freezing cold. My winter jacket was fashionable and warm and my hat and my gloves were shaped like cute fox demons, attempting to keep me warm in the cold weather. The snow had wrapped the entire village up, so no one was to be out and about in this snow storm, thus why I was all alone.

I started at the pathway, behind me, what is shown to my eyes was the entire village that consisted of about fifty houses and a village outdoor market, and in front of me was the unknown world that I know I had once traveled.

I stood for minutes, to hours and then for days. It was always the winter season that left me with a single foolish thought, that my lord Sesshomaru would be back and would save me from that mean old granny, that this beautiful demon lord would take me again from the race I belong and allow me to follow him.

It had been one year since he left me here in this village to the name I do not bother remembering. All I know is that Lord Sesshomaru's brother was once in love with a woman who I believe lived here, she died a long time ago and her sprit lived on to torment him but it became known to myself that her younger sibling to this women lived here, and she was assigned to be my care taker, by whom, I have no idea. The lady is mean and unfair, always yelling at me and never letting me do the things I like, like fishing, hunting and beating up boys.

Maybe its because I am only eleven, but I cannot understand my lords thoughts. Why did he leave me here… didn't he always say that I could follow him… did he say that? It's been so long. He left me here with the last sentence being that I was his companion. I don't know if he was referring to me actually being his companion or was referring to the meaning of my name, Rin.

Sadly enough, I am only eleven years old and I am having memory problems. I don't want to forget Lord Sesshomaru, but everyday I feel like the memory of him is slipping away silently. It is due to everyone telling me that he does not exist. But I know he does, so please Lord Sesshomaru come back! Was I that a bad of a girl? I know it was troublesome that I died twice… but I promise it won't happen again, so please just come back!

"Rin…" a woman with long dark brown hair and pale skin called out to me. She was wearing tradition clothes of this village that were a simple dress and apron. At one time she always wore something called a 'school uniform'. To me it personally looked like a sailor's outfit, excluding the super short skirt. I always thought she was apart of a pirate's gang or something. I once asked her but she burst out laughing and called me cute while patting my head. I didn't dislike this woman, but I felt like she was one of the people who were blocking my path on the way back to my Lord Sesshomaru!

"Kagome…?" I replied trying to remember her name. Like I said, I'm only eleven and I'm having memory problems. This was the woman Lord Sesshomaru didn't care for very much. She was a lover to Lord Sesshomaru's younger brother whom he hates because he believes his father was foolish and died because of him, and also because he's half human. At least that's why I think he hates him, I never really asked lord Sesshomaru, having to be honest. But after the war ended, I guess you could say they made a pact of avoiding each other and no longer completely hating each other, after all, Lord Sesshomaru could not hate them that much if he put me some what in there care.

"Your going to catch a cold out here, Rin, who are you waiting for?" Kagome asked already knowing the answer.

"I'm waiting for Lord Sesshomaru! I told you this yesterday and the day before that when you asked! I'm waiting for Lord Sesshomaru to come back and take me away from this village!" Tears ran down my face as I said this. I hated having to repeat myself to her; she seemed to have an even worst memory than myself.

"Oh… Rin, I've already told you, Lord Sesshomaru does not exist." Kagome replied, not looking into Rin's eyes as she said so, she was lying, but it didn't matter that she was lying, it was the reason behind the lie that Rin wanted to know.

I watched Kagome walk back into her little home, back to her half-demon lover. She has to be lying, there is no way Lord Sesshomaru does not exist, and I know he does! I remember him. I tired to convince myself. If I had to be more honest, than it would be that I am finding it harder to believe myself ever day. (Say that five times –haha-)

I remember when I first met him, he was badly hurt and I stole food and water from the village even though I knew that when they found out they would beat me. When they did find out and did beat me, Sesshomaru looked worried, even though I know it was only his curiosity of how I got my injury's, but it made me so happy that someone actually cared enough to ask that I smiled at him, and for the first time he scolded me, but even when he scolded me it was always gentle.

Then when I died, Lord Sesshomaru could smell my blood, he told me that the reason he decided to come see my body was because he couldn't get my smile out of his head, when he told me that I felt like the most special girl on the entire planet. Whenever he would start fighting he would always tell me where to go, so that I could be safe. He had to have done that because he cared about my safety. I remember all our entire small conversations and his expressionless face as tears rolled down my face.

There was also the time Kagura abducted me, Lord Sesshomaru came all the way to that cursed house to save me. He even had to fight along with Inuyasha, whom he hated just to save me. Rin had all these memories of this man, so how dare this village tell her he does not exist!

The Kaede started to walk up to Rin. The woman was very old and wore red and white robs along with her gray hair tied back. This was the mean-old lady Lord Sesshomaru had left her with. Ever since she came to this village, this woman has taken care of her, by constantly yelling at her and beating her whenever she did something a 'normal child' would not do.

"Come inside right now Rin!" Kaede yelled at Rin from a little far away, she didn't want to get close to the entrance of the village gate since she had no idea what monsters would jump out at them. It was very dangerous for Rin to even be out here alone.

"NO! GO AWAY" I yelled.

"For heaven sakes! This demon you dream about doesn't exist! I give you more one chance, come inside right now or no dinner!" Kaede threatened again.

Rin looked at the old lady and stuck her tongue out at her and turned her back.

"FINE YOU BRAT! CATCH A COLD!" The old lady yelled as she turned her back to Rin and walked back to her tiny house the she and Rin lived in.

"Hmpt, like I'd catch a cold!" Rin said in disbelief.

A few days later she caught a cold.


	2. Death  and her  Twelfth Winter

As I tied up my boots to stand outside again this winter waiting for… Lord… Ses…Sesshomaru, I could feel eyes on my back. The mean old lady Kaede was dying and the half-demon boy Inuyasha and his lover Kagome were very upset and discussing what would happen to this village, and more importantly what would happen to me.

Like I cared. I knew what would happen when the old lady died, I would be on my own, and no one would no longer be able to punish me or tell me what normal kids do and don't do. I'll be able to do whatever I want, and the thought of that made me very happy.

The old lady dying, although it was hard to admit, she was kind of like the mother or perhaps grandmother I never had. Although I made it sound like I hated her a lot, I didn't really. She was just very strict and I knew why. I had been traveling around with Lord Sesshomaru the first 10 years of my life, and it's only been two years since he left me, so at the time I didn't interact with humans at all. All there ever was, was Jaken the green ugly goblin that served Lord Sesshomaru, Lord Sesshomaru, and of course A-Un! His two headed dragon who was an only really kind to me.

I didn't want Kaede to die…

I looked out at the edge of the town gate as I have done every year for the last two years know, refusing to forget about the man I promised to serve for the rest of my life. I may not have told him I was planning on 'serving' him for the rest of my life, but in my heart that was what I honestly thought I was going to do. I never expected him to abandon me. It hurt just thinking of him.

"Rin you Idiot! Quit being so.. Uh… boring, and come play with me and Mia!" A young boy yelled at me from afar.

Rin turned to face the boy who's named was Haku, and he just happened to be her friend who was fourteen. He had messy black hair and a few tattoos of the lightening clan. He was pale and skinny but he had a face that would surly become handsome in years to come. Beside him was Mia, his younger sister who was the same age as Rin. She also had messy black hair but it was much longer and in braids, and she was alittle chubbier then most girls her age. Mia was very self-conscious of herself and never opened up to anyone, not even her mother Kristin. But Mia would occasionally let her thoughts slip out to Rin, and that made her feel special.

Rin would never tell Haku directly, but she liked his younger sister better then him, mainly because she didn't have as big as a mouth that he had.

"I'm waiting for Lord Sesshomaru! I'll play with you guys again once winter is over!" I replied. In this village winter didn't last ever long. Sometimes it was only one month and other years it would be four months. It depended on when the first snowfall was and the last. Occasionally there would be multiple snowfalls that would confuse the villagers.

"You idiot! Winter just started and wont is over for another 3 weeks!" Haku yelled at me, he couldn't have really known when the snowfall winter was over, but he always assumed the least time possible instead of the longest. "I heard Kagome say that this guy does not exist! That you were just dreaming or something like that!" he said on purpose, trying to get on Rin's nerves.

It was working.

"He does exist! I just know it… my entire existence is telling me he does!"

"Okay then, if this guy does exist then he defiantly does not want you or he would not have abandoned you in this boring ass village for the last two years!" Haku yelled back at her. He knew that she had heard these words not only from him but also his cruel father. He felt a little sting at his heart whenever this asshole Sesshomaru was mentioned and he felt angry and fearful at the same time. Angry that this guy had such a hold on Rin and fear because if he ever came back he would take the girl he liked away from him.

Rin ignored him and continued to stare at the unknown. She refused to believe anything he says. Lord Sesshomaru does exist, and she did not make him up. She kept telling herself over and over again but it wasn't working as well as it use too. She could feel the distaste at her own conscious coming into play, telling her that maybe they were all right, maybe it was just some powerful dreams, maybe your actually insane.

She shook her head fearfully ignoring these thoughts; she would not let them bring her down, especially the one about her being insane.

To be honest it made sense that she may have been insane. The things and adventures she had with Lord Sesshomaru, Jaken and A-Un felt so powerfully real and unreal at the same time.

Three weeks went by quickly along with her tears and she undid her boots ever day after she felt like she would pass out if she stood outside in the cold any longer. She attended granny's funeral, and it was horrible, just as she thought, she really did love the old hag; her heart once again felt like it was being ripped apart. The first time it had been ripped apart was by the person she trusted the most, her Lord Sesshomaru, and know it was by the Granny, oh why did she have to die!


	3. Mistakes  and her  Thirteenth Winter

I woke up automatically at 5: 30. Wondering why that was since I tend to be an early riser but not that early, maybe more like around eight am or so.

I then realized that today was the first day of winter, so obviously I jumped out of bed full of excitement as I realized it was going to be another boring winter by myself, unless Mia joined me, of waiting for that guy… who I find it hard to remember.

Mia was alright, she didn't talk much so I always let her join me in waiting for the guy, but her brother Haku who was fifteen know was going through some serious puberty so I tended to stay away from him.

Every winter was the same since I could remember lately. The only problem was the details of why I waited outside my village every winter and I was starting to believe that I really had made the magical beautiful demon up, in order to keep my mind sane from whatever happened to me when I was younger, which I can no longer remember clearly.

Everyone says that this man does not exist, but it doesn't mean I completely do agree with him or her. Yet.

Last spring while I was practicing with my wooden sword stupid Haku decided to interfere by trying to get a cheap shot at me while I was concentrating on my targets. The minute his wooden sword swung at me, I practically twisted my body to reach the near of his side body and kicked him in the nee. Without having any professional practice I was able to defeat Haku who has been training his entire life to be a warrior. He then got up and charged at me once again which I dodged and took my own weapon and hit him in the back on his neck, causing him pain and nerve damage. After that I wasn't aloud to practice with Haku anymore.

That has to mean something. No one could counter attack someone like that without seeing it many times with there own eyes.

When I told this to Kagome, she dismissed me saying that it must be a natural talent, and that I was a natural born tomboy. It pissed me off that not even Kagome who can't lie properly couldn't even come up with a good excuse. No one is born with the ability to fight, they must learn it. And I must have learned it from someone, and that had to be this man who abandoned me three years ago.

I refuse to believe at the moment that my excellent defense skills are a talent, Kagome may have tricked me for a little while but once when I was out in the forest I was attacked by a group of about five or six wolfs. They weren't normal wolves, they seemed to have some demon elements to them, and I successfully was able to defend myself for over an hour intill Haku came with his sword and killed two of them. The three one bit is arm and left a scar to this day on his rather large bicep. The other wolfs then retired after I took Haku's dropped sword (He dropped it when he got bit) and started to fend them off and scare them by trying to make myself looking bigger then I actually was, I knew it worked on bears so why not wolves? It didn't really work but after a large wolf cry from far away that sounded like a man rather than a wolf they finally retreated. After that I no longer believed I was born with these skills, I must have learned them from somewhere.

As I put on my fur coat on that was made ironically from wolf's fur, and my boots along with mitts and a hat, I walked out to my door and found a young girl around my age leaning against my house.

The young girl was Mia and she walked up to me also dressed up but her outfit was made from sheep wool so it wasn't as warm as my white wolf fur. Her hair was longer than last winter and it was more of a dark brown now instead of black and she was losing her baby fat. She had gotten prettier this last year, but her freckles still didn't suit her and her nose was much like a witches.

I remember this last October other children around our age were calling her a witch was even tried to push her off a cliff to see if she survived then she really was a witch. It was completely cruel and luckily Haku and myself arrived in time to beat up those kids and save Mia. She looked completely terrified and ever since then she seemed to stick by my side, seemingly scared of then entire world. I agreed with her concept on the world. Humans were scarier than demons since they had bloodlust and they killed without any reason. I know this because humans killed my entire family.

"What are you doing up so early Mia?" I asked looking at her in the eye. She didn't talk much so most of our conversations were one-sided with myself looking into her eye to find the answer to my question.

"I wanted to come with you to wait for uhh... that guy" she replied nervously. Her eyes showed disbelief and uncaring. I could tell she didn't care if this guy existed or not, and the disbelief part was because she did believe I was a bit insane, she tended to give me weird looks sometimes when I would do something she considered a normal human child wouldn't do.

I knew from the sound of her voice, eye contact and the fact that Mia was up this early, considering what a night owl she is and how she loves to sleep in, that something must be wrong and she wanted to talk with me. Well more like she wanted me to ask her question and her display the emotion on her face. I didn't know if I was going to play along with this game or ignore her intill she was forced to talk about her problems.

I don't mind hearing peoples problems. And I supposed I am a very good listener even though I barley ever reply, but the villagers keep coming to me with there problems and I listen, and I never give them a voiced solution since I consider it to be a waste of breath. Another reason why I believe he exists, no normal human would think that way. Some humans would talk to me about there relationships, and about sex. I would pretend to know what I was talking about when I actually had no clue.

"Okay" I smiled at her and leaded the way down the path reaching for the end of the village that starred into the unknown land. I liked to hear Mia's problems since they were usually stupid and it made me feel like we had a good friendship. I knew that was shallow of myself but I felt like Mia was the only person I could consider a friend, since she was just about as weird as I was.

Mia didn't say anything at first; she was always a little quite when there was something wrong and of course the fact she hated to talk. Her and Haku's father was the towns Mayer if you could call it that. His name was Gion, he looked a bit like an adult version of Haku but, he had short kindof spiky black hair and he was muscular. And that description suited Gion since he was tuff, and in my personal option he was a heartless asshole. Mia and Haku occasionally agreed, but he was there father so they couldn't really hate him.

"It's the Goblin clan," Mia whispered out to me after sitting down for over an hour.

I was surprised she talked.

"Uh-hu" I had heard about the trouble they had been causing but I didn't care much. Its another reason why I believe he exist, because my human instinct is more like a demons and I care very little to none about other human beings. Kagome says I am just selfish though and it has nothing to do with a person who does not exist. Of course she is just trying to convince me of that since it's there official job as it seems, to make sure Rin does not believe in Sesshomaru. Oh yeah! His name was Sesshomaru!

Along with his name I remembered a time when I asked Lord Sesshomaru about the goblins, since the camp we set up was near the town they declared was there's. I asked him about the goblins, and if they were powerful. He replied that they were nothing compared to his power, they were a lot like humans, unintelligent and optimistic even when things were impossible.

"They attacked the neighboring village, and my father has talked to the leader Erin and his sons Kyro and Getsu, and returned with news of an… arrangement last night"

"Uh-hu…" I replied again not really interested in politics… if it can be called that. It was more like this; 'Here is my daughter, mate with her, and then in 20 years, you're aloud to attack us'. That was my option of politics in this unjust world.

"Its seems that…" Mia looked down, tears in her eyes slowly falling down her cheeks and she continued, "The king Erin wishes for a marriage partner with his son Kyro"

This got my attention and I turned to her and placed my arm around her, comforting her and stroking her softly. "That asshole" I muttered. Like I said, politics.

How could a father sell out his own daughter to Goblins! Goblins… well I don't know anything about them to be honest since I never bothered to listen to the teachings the elders had provided for us, but from what Lord Sesshomaru had told me, they didn't seem to be very mannered people.

"When is it going to happen?" I ask, fearful that it was going to be way to soon to do anything about.

"After my 14th winter" Mia whispered and a tear fell down her face.

I cursed under my breath. I really was not like a lady at all, and I never will be.

After sitting on the cold snowy ground for hours I looked over at Mia whose eyes were red and puffy. I gave her a warm hug and kissed her on the cheek.

As we walked back to the deceased mean granny's house that had know belonged to me, we held hands, and I was squeezing her hand every time I felt her shudder from a tear slipping down her cheek.

The rest of the winter was much like this. I stood outside while no one came for long. Sometimes Mia would sit with me, sipping tea. Sometimes Kagome would sit with me and just appreciate nature. Sometimes even Inuyasha would sit outside with me while a dazed look on his face.

There was once when Haku came to sit with me, it was near the end of the winter so there was not as much snow as usual and I had a picnic blanket out along with tea and other little snacks. Just cause I had to wait for my demon didn't mean I had to do it in discomfort.

His hair had grown down to his shoulders and his shoulders were wide and his arms were muscular, and he was looking more and more like his asswipe father everyday. His eyes were a bit puffy and I could tell he had been crying.

He sat with me and his hands would clench ever so often, and he would swear under his breath and occasionally I could see tears in his eyes, he never let them fall though.

It was painfully obviously that he had recognized that he was going to lose his sister, and there was nothing he could do about it. Because of this, I decide to be more kind to him, but as I would learn, it was a grave mistake.


	4. Dangerous Crushes  and her  Fourteenth Winter

It's the second last day of winter. So much has happened this past year, with Goblins and weddings and other scary things that I will explain. Since I must explain what is happening to myself in order to explain to others why it should not happen and then to figure out what to do when others do not understand my explanations.

I looked behind myself to see, Mia and Haku's dad named Gion, who was also the Mayor of this so-called town checking me out. He was definitely over the age of 45 so it was insolently wrong. I felt bile go straight to my throat and I wanted to barf out everything that my small tummy could hold.

This last year I had been having eating issues. I either ate everything in sight or I starve myself for three to four days, sometimes in was on purpose and sometimes its just because I cannot get any food down my tiny throat. Because of this I have become very thin, and for some sick reason, apparently being unhealthily thin is attractive.

Mia was supposed to get married in the spring but not anymore because apparently Goblins have a higher… uh conception rate during summertime, so its been decided she will now be married in the summer. Just thinking about it makes me want to barf. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that doesn't like this, it seems that with every passing day Haku is getting angrier and angrier at his father, and it seems that with each passing day for his father Gion, he is trying harder and harder to please his son.

Haku is the strongest warrior in our village. And that is why his father is checking me out, not necessarily for himself, but he is checking me out for Haku's sake, and since I am a smart girl I can already outline his thinking before anyone else has.

Gion wants to please his angry son who will one day take over his place as the leader of the village. My worth to this village is next to nothing so I might as well be married off, and since I have good health and 'beautiful' genes, they want me to breed with Haku like we are animals. Since it is painfully obvious that Haku has a crush on me, Gion is taking this opportunity to please Haku along with finding a wife for him and having him create the next leader, pretty much he wants a grandson.

My life feels empty and I barley even remember why I linger outside every winter. All I know is its because there is a beautiful imaginary beast that is coming to take me away and ravish me… oh… I can't believe I just thought that. Lately my thoughts have been getting more pervert, and this demon sounds like a prince from a fairy tail a parent might have told there children.

So its most likely my parents who I never knew might have told me some imaginary story when I was younger, that I was a princess who should wait for my prince demon darling to come and eat me. It doesn't really make much sense to me, but everyone seems a little too eager to encourage this train of thought I am having.

Thinking more about it, the story is not exactly like that but I am a teenager and you have to expect some sarcasm from me, its only natural. I looked behind myself to see what the villagers were doing. They were quite happy to send there princess of to the Goblin who is literality going to ravish her.

I then noticed Haku coming closer too me. That idiot was taking his shirt off in order to practice his sword fighting in the cold winter air. Really, women in this village were so stupid that men honestly thought they could do these kinds of tactics without me seeing right through them like I was any other woman.

There had been many proposals for me and I shut them down and embarrassed the hell out of every one of them. There was no way I was going to get married. I'd rather be alone my entire life than marry a human.

Haku's chest was well defined and I could see his thick abs. He has a lot of muscle on his arms too and when he griped his sword they got even bigger. It almost made me think about what was below.

Damn. I made myself blush. I think that when I concluded I was insane when I was younger; it was about my sexual preferences. Even though I am human, I do not feel attracted to other humans, and even though I practically hate Haku for what he's become I feel a tiny bit of myself attracted to him.

"Rin! Are you okay? Your face is all red…" he paused and then continued after a quick thought, "You are sick aren't you! Waiting outside in the cold makes you sick you know!" Haku yelled gently at me.

"Go away, I'm not sick, and your one to talk Mr. No Shirt on!" I spat back at him.

In the corner of my eye I could see Haku blushing. I didn't want human sexy. I wanted sexy hot beautiful demon with pale white cold skin who could make me… oh I have to stop these perverted thoughts.

"You know my dad…"

"Stop!" I spat out.

"What… why? I was just going to say-"

"S-T-O-P" I yelled as loud as I could this time.

Haku's look in his eye was clearly saying he was not going to back down. Maybe it was for his pride or it was just his personality but he just had to say it.

"I'M MARRING YOU!" He yelled to me with a huge grin on his face, it was like he was expecting me to cry and then run into his arms and tell him I love him or something.

"NO!" I declined and attempted to turn away from him.

Haku looked at me in disbelief and then I could see small tears were coming to his eyes. Ah he really did like me. But that was too bad. Because I was fixated on an imaginary demon for the rest of my life, and by no way in hell was I ever going to have kids. Also I had to admit his tears about losing his sister were cute and made my heart beat a little faster than normal, but tears because he didn't get what he wanted, made me want to puke.

Haku walked away slowly and obviously very embarrassed and humiliated. At least I think I got it though his head that it wasn't going to happen. But even I could not fool myself. I had no control over my body, if Gion wanted his son married to me then I would have no choice, they would force me into a dress and bruise my wrist signing the marriage papers.

And here is where I explained to myself why I could not and would never marry anyone. It is because I am forever waiting for my Lord… I can't even remember his name.

Tears filled my eyes and I screamed at the top of my lungs and quickly my throat hurt and my lungs hurt and I knew I was hyperventilating. I hated when I had panic attacks. But then out of the corner of my eye I saw trouble.

I could feel a strong grip on my arm pulling me against the back of a house that was made of stone and it was very hard and ruff, his forceful movements made my head hit the back of the hard rock and more tears came swelling to my eyes because of the pain.

"You will not refuse my son again, you got it you little bitch" Gion's harsh words ripped through me.

He was grabbing my hair forcing my eyes to look at him as he said "I know about your little fetishes for demons, but its stops now." He then slapped me across the face and yelled the words once again into my face. I do not belong, he owns me, do not disobey him. He let go of me and walked away as I silently cried at this cruel life I was forced to live.

I hated the fact that I was waiting for what seemed like forever.


	5. Roses  and her  Fifteenth Summer

While in the woods one would think, Rin why are you in the dangerous woods all alone, haven't the village people taught you anything about how dangerous leaving the village is? It is that you are looking for that uh… guy. For once I was not looking for that man, after all, it was summertime. I was currently looking for ingredients. You see I believe that I am a strong girl, and even though men are physically stronger than me, I am smarter then them.

The forest was very large, and I doubted that it ever ended. The trees were all very tall since all of them have had to be thousands of years old and the leafs on each tree were the brightest color of green. Some particular trees had some brown, red and yellow leafs but her favorite were the ones that had flowers grown in with the leafs. Looking around she suddenly found the item she had been looking for, it was a particular rare flower called a rose. Apparently Kagome had brought it over from her world and had planted some time ago on her journey with Inuyasha.

Looking around some more she noticed a particularly alluring cave and decided to explore it before she gave up for the say. Walking into the cave she found it had a very dark feeling of death surrounding it, but she fought everything in her body telling her to turn around a go home. Was she ever glad she fought that feeling, because at the end of the cave Rin had finally found what she was looking for.

These flowers were extremely rare to find in this world but I've always been weirdly good at finding flowers, so I knew I was going to find the roses, it was just that I really didn't think it would take me a week. I got lucky that no one had noticed I was missing all day the last week and maybe it was because everyone was busy preparing for Mia's weeding. Yes that's right, I am limited on time because I have to put all the ingredients together before… Mia's… wedding.

I picked a few roses that I found but not all of them, since it was kind of sad what I was going to use them for, and I didn't want to kill them all, after all, there may be a day that I wished to do this again.

Next ingredient I needed was water and that would be easiest, I could use rocks to grind the flowers up and the rest of the chemicals would have to come from Kagome's world, which she kept locked up in her house. Shouldn't be too hard.

"What are you doing in the woods?!" Haku suddenly appeared at the entrance of the cave and yelled along with scaring me. I practically jumped ten feet and my heart was racing like crazy. He scared me!

"I'm gathering flowers for Mia's wedding, I wanted the prettiest ones I could find…" I lied through my teeth.

Haku's eyes then narrowed down to the roses I had been holding.

"Red? Why would you pick a flower that is red, it is a disgusting color" he rambled on. "Well did you find all the flowers you needed?"

"Yep."

"Then I will escort you back, you know how dangerous the woods are, demons lurk in them!" he finished and stomping off.

I walked behind Haku, putting the roses into my bag. We reached the village shortly after we departed from the woods and I could see Mia standing at the edge of the village. I ran up to her and asked, "Aren't you suppose to be in wife training"

"Ahh… yes… I just wanted to make sure you were okay" she replied

"You knew she was going into the woods! Mia you idiot you should have told me, she could have been killed out there!" Haku yelled at her.

"Quit it, I'm fine and I found everything I needed out there… the flowers for Mia's wedding of course…" I lied again while giving a look to Mia so she would know the lie to tell when others asked why I was in the forest, "So lets go to Kagome's house and get a vase to put them in, the wedding is in two days, and I wouldn't want them to die before then"

I looked at Haku trying to see if he would be in any help breaking into Kagome's house.

"We have vases at our house, you can use one of them" Haku said to me.

Shit. "I don't want your ugly vases, I want a pretty one from the other world that Kagome brings back!" I wined at him.

Haku glared at me and then we both looked at Mia who said, "I want a pretty vase for my wedding!"

I smiled to myself and walked with Mia and Haku beside me down to Kagome's house. I knew that Kagome would be home so we didn't really have to break in, we just knocked.

Kagome opened the door and gave a weak smile at Mia, knowing the pain she had to be going through because of the wedding. "Come in" she said.

"Now, what can I do for you three?"

"We need a pretty vase" Haku told her.

"Oh… what kind of flowers will be going into the vase?"

"Roses" I told her.

"Oh! What pretty flowers they are, but I doubt you will be able to find any, all the ones I planted had died"

"Well they didn't because Rin found some in the woods" Haku voice sounded very angry at the end of that sentence.

I looked over at Mia, who was being quiet. She has been quiet for such a long time, and its not only today, she barley talks anymore.

Kagome went deep into the house to find the vase, I quickly looked over at Mia, and we had a mutual agreement, I distract Haku and Kagome when she comes back, and she gets the chemicals.

I pulled Haku's arm, to which he looked quite surprised and led him to the couch, turning our backs away from Mia.

"What… are you doing" Haku said while I could see the tiny blush that was forming on his face.

The slightest touches always made him blush, "I wanted to talk to you"

He looked me in the eye and his entire body tensed up. "About what" he said almost to softly to hear.

"You and I"

"What about us?"

"We are such good friends…" not really. "And I don't want you to get ideas about Mia's wedding and try to… I don't know, think about marring… me or another girl" I added the last in to try to sound less mean.

"I will not marry another girl, you're the only one for me" he stated.

I glared at him in frustration. I don't want to marry him! Or anyone.

"Unless you are… in love with someone else?" he asked, I could see in his eyes he was preparing for the worst.

"I… think I don't like men" I said honestly, "I mean I never had these kind of love feeling before ever in my life"

"That's because you don't let yourself" Haku's face suddenly came way to close to mine and his hands had found my waist which was somehow was pulling either his body or mine closer despite the fact we were sitting down.

"I found the vase! This was the one I got from Inuyasha from our…" Kagome walked in saying but quickly stopped when she saw the scene in front of her.

I leaped out of Haku's grasp and went over and hugged her.

"uh… thanks so much Kagome! I really appreciate you lending me this vase, it is so pretty, don't you like it too Haku?" I said nervously.

He looked over to me and then to the vase. "Its red, I hate red"

"Hahahaha… but Mia loves it!" I spitted out.

"No she doesn't, she said it reminds her of blood and she hates blood" he replied.

"Oh no… I didn't know that. But aren't the flowers you're using for Mia's wedding red?" Kagome asked me.

"Yes, and she likes red, she doesn't like blood, and UGH MIA!" I yelled.

Mia came into the room holding my bag with a smile on her face. It had been so long since she smiles that relief filled my body. The reason for her smile must have been because she found the rest of the ingredients.

"Don't you like red, and this vase?" I asked.

"Yes" Mia lied.

"See no need to worry!" I said to Kagome. I grabbed the vase out of her hands quickly thanked her and then grabbed Mia's hand and ran out of the house, Haku was yelling behind me saying out conversation wasn't over, but id be damned if I let myself be alone with him ever again. Not that I needed to worry about anymore, I had all the ingredients.


	6. Red  and her  Fifteenth Summer(Part Two)

Today is Mia's wedding day. We were inside my house, since she decided that she wanted to spend her last day of freedom with me in my house having a sleepover, we had asked Kagome to get us some junk food from her world. We had some weird sweet bread rolls, coke cola a drink that tasted like nothing I ever had before, and afterword's I decided to claim I was a coke addict. She also got us some hard wheat tasty food that was called Barbeque Chips.

It was now the morning and there was some of the food left over. No coke though.

I looked over at Mia to find her barley eating at all.

"Come one Mia, it's your last day (Morning) before you're married, pig out!" I told her, but in response all I got was a nod and no hand reaching towards the food. Breathing out I decided to give up and get to work on the plan: Crush the Crusher!

Getting the flowers and other ingredients I already combined together and left them over night so they could really infuse with each other, I got them out of my bag and handed them to Mia so she could finish the preparation.

Mia took the bowl that had the ingredients in it that know looked like a gray thick liquid. She put some of it on her hands and started to run it down my hair. I was sitting on the floor and had to comb the thick liquid through my long hair that went down my back and ended at my waist.

I had side bangs that I cut myself and we used the rest of the liquid to finishing up the area and when my hair was completely covered in the gray liquid Mia tied it up and we left it in my hair, not knowing how long we should leave it in for.

"If we wash it out right now I bet it will all come out!" Mia said in a panic after she noticed some of my hair already changing color.

"Come on, don't panic, I always wanted red hair, I think it will look killer" I tired to reason with Mia. The real reason we colored my hair was because both of us knew Haku's extreme hatred to the color red. We also knew about his extreme attraction to me. We put two and two together and created the plan Crush Crusher, which was to ruin Haku's image of me, and for him to no long even want to look at me.

Of course both of us knew nothing about hair dyeing so there was a good chance all my hair was going to fall out. But if that took Haku's intense liking of me away, I was willing to go for it.

"So…" I tried talking making conversation. Mia looked up at me but said nothing. "Lets take a bath together!" I said after the silence had become too much.

After preparing the bath and putting some daisies in the water to make it smell nice, I helped Mia take a bath, washing her back, washing her hair and just relaxing with her. Afterword's I did her nails and then Mia put white powder all over her skin, which the Goblins required her to have on. We then put her hair into curls and clipped them up so they could dry. I then got her white kimono out of my closet and helped her put it on. It was all white but at the ends of it had some jewels sewn in, it contained lots of ruby's and sapphires.

It was an hour to noon, and she had to leave to go to her house since she would soon be sitting in front of her to be husband for the first time, and then sign the papers that would condone her to a life imprisonment to the Goblin clan.

Mia was also watching the time, knowing it was almost time. She stood up and gave me the tightest hug that was ever possible and then kissed my cheeks. I returned her hug, trying my best not to cry. After our hug a knocking sound came from my door, and Mia left my house, following whoever it was back to her own house. They wouldn't want her to escape.

Sitting down on the ground and pulling my knees into my chest, I calmed down to the best of my ability and then stood up and got to work. There was still stuff I had to get done.

My hair still had the gray stuff in it, and I decided that I didn't care if it worked or not, or tried to convince myself of this since if it did not work the disappointment would not hurt too much. I had to wash it out, because I had to be Mia's witness to the marriage and her maid of honor as Kagome called it. Plus Haku would be there, and Mia and I had been working on this plan for too long for me to chicken out.

Taking my clothes off in the hallway and talking into the bathroom, I washed myself with the last of the hot water and then lastly my hair. I refused to look in the mirror, since I was sure from how my hair felt, not the silky kind of feel as usual, but almost like hay, I knew that something must have worked, it had either turned the color red, or it had turned it to some other ungodly color or had fallen out. I did love my hair, so that's why I refused to look in the mirror to confirm it.

I then dried myself off, put on very little make-up, and next I slid on a kimono that I picked out. It was red with black flowers on it. I subsequently stepped outside walking to Mia's house. My hair was still wet but it was drying up quite quickly and I was very much aware of the dropped mouths and stares I was getting while I walked.

I opened the door to Mia's house and the first person I saw was Haku and his father. Haku's face went pale, and Gion had a look of disgust and fury on his own face.

I walked up to the alter, sat behind Mia who had her eyes very wide, as she stared at my hair.

I then took my chance to look straight ahead, at Mia's soon to be Husband. I remember his name was Kyro. He had tanned skin that looked unnatural and his body was not very impressive. He had to a certain extent the beer belly and regardless of that fact he looked human you could see he had pointy ears and messy dirty blonde hair. His eyes were a kind of bronzy red shade but still not quite red. He had fangs on both his top and bottom teeth. Even with all these traits he had, if I didn't know any better, I would have said he was human.

It was a clear blue sky and the wind felt nice on my skin. Walking down a path like always I noticed something new, and I thought it looked familiar. When I figured out what it was I knelt down to look at the pretty little shrines and suddenly got the idea thrown in my head that I was going to die some day. Turning around I looked at Lord-

I looked back at Mia, wondering where that strange sudden memory came from but as I looked around the room and saw more demons of different races I started to see more of the scene from my past.

I didn't feel sad, not in the slightest. I turned my head to look at (?), his beautiful long silver hair was blowing a bit past his body because of the cool breeze, and his golden eyes were looking right into my dark ones. He had a half moon on his forehead with a very slight smile but it faded when I started to talk and the same expressionless face as ever appeared.


	7. Insomnia  and her  Fifteenth Winter

Um, Lord Sesshomaru, if I um died someday, would you remember me?" I asked innocently. My small body was in a kneeling position beside the shrines.

I saw the demon take an almost silent intake of breath as he looked at me in surprise and then broke our eye contact, as he said "Don't say such silly things" with almost a smile on his face. He seemed to be looking at the sky.

For what felt like the hundredth time that night I opened my eyes looking at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep, a beautiful man with demon-like golden eyes have captured me and is keeping me hostage in my dreams and are haunting my mind and my body.

Slowing closing my eyes again I feel back to sleep quite quickly.  
///

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I said shyly since he looked to be frowning, and he always did that after his visits with his brother. The two of them, especially my lord, did not like each other. Whenever they saw one another a fight and hurtful words would be thrown at each other.

"What is it Rin?" he shot is glaring golden eyes right into mine, I felt my knees go weak and the next thing I could tell was that I was sitting on the ground.

"…the… winter… cold… um…" was all the worlds I could form. I was freezing and I felt like my toes were going to fall off.

Lord Sesshomaru took off one of his armors that looked especially warm and even fluffy and wrapped it around me like a scarf. I looked at him giving him a silent thank you, since I didn't know how he would act if I said it out loud, and although he claimed to hate humans, he seemed to like me.  
////

Rolling over on my stomach I clasped my pillow and screamed into it. I hadn't been able to sleep the whole winter so far and it was starting to take toll on my mind.

Felling very frustrated and not giving much care to where I was, I yelled out,"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" but accidently said that aloud instead of into the softness and noise extracting of a pillow. I wasn't much for swearing, but when I was no longer even think straight due to loss of sleep I started doing a lot of things I normally wouldn't do.

A knock suddenly came from my door and I rolled on my side to stare at the evilness that was all doors. I'm going insane.

"Come in" I told whoever was at the other side of the door. I decided to stay in bed, if I got up now, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

The door slightly opened and a maid poked her head in.

"Are you okay? I hear you um… using inappropriate language" the goblin maid said to me as she walked more into my room, the look on her face was unreadable but I could tell she was horrified that she had just talked to me the way she just did. Goblin maids were not aloud to use eye contact let alone ask questions.

"Honestly, I'm fine" I told her turning around on my other side away from her, and tried to seek a peaceful rest once more.

I was of course, unsuccessful.

I looked at my knees, they sure were muddy, and ah Jaken is going to get mad at me again. I made my way to the river that was close to the small camp we had set up. Reaching the water, I slowly started to splash water on myself cleaning away the mess.

Once realizing that I was too dirty to clean myself with just a half assed bath, I stripped my clothes off and got a little more into the water, washing my Kimoto in the process.

It dawned on me that I hadn't looked around to make sure no one was around; I turned my head to the right, and then to the left and gasped.

Quickly I put my wet kimono on and walked over to Lord Sesshomaru, bowed and apologized for my humiliating presentation. He didn't see to care much, but he once again offered that fluffy scarf he wore.  
///  
"PEDOPFHLE! GET OUT OF MY HEAD" I yelled not even knowing what the word pedophile meant, and for some reason, I felt terrible for saying it.

Oh divinity, I said it out loud. Once again the Goblin maid burst into my room simply looking at me like I was a crazy, for all she and I knew I probably already was.

"So…o…rry." I tried to offer but she just gave me a look of disbelief and left me once again to these powerful memory's that were so strong they had been giving me insomnia for the past few weeks.

The goblin castle was quite huge; it had the entire main royal family living in it, including my friend Mia. Who was apparently royal now. We liked to laugh about it.

I looked in the mirror to see my shiny red hair swaying down my back. My black roots had grown in a bit but they simply just tangled and blended in with the red.

It was winter once again, and I decided that it would be the last winter I could allow myself to wait for this imaginary figure from my dreams. The last dream I had was different then the others, since the others I was always my eight to eleven-year-old self, but in the last one I looked older, maybe around eighteen or so. It was quite weird.

"I knew you would be on the balcony" Mia's voice interrupted my thoughts. I hadn't even seen her coming.

I stared at her. It hadn't been that long since she was married to the leader of the Goblin clan, and of course she was not his only wife, and only deity knows how many he has. Mia was no longer the gullible, uncorrupted and sweet girl I had known. She was worn out. Her hair was still long and was in a braid but she had constant black shades under her eyes and she was too scrawny. And of course the biggest difference was the large unnaturally round stomach.

"You shouldn't be outside, its bad for you and… its life"

"Since when did you start lecturing me, Miss. Lets break all the rules" Mia said with a grin on her face.

Mia sat next to me; I got a glimpse at her thighs as she clumsily came down to the ground. There was 3, 4, maybe 5 bruises. It had me sick to my stomach that I couldn't do anything for my friend. I was powerless. I had no physical strength since the damn men in our village denied women to participate in any kind of physical training. They just wanted to ship us off to the kitchen.

"Fucking them" I blurred out by accident. I was referring to the men, but it was also the older ladies who agreed with them.

Mia looked at me in confusion and then said, "My maid said you uh… yelled pedophile out loud last night and other… uh weird saying…"

I couldn't help it I just burst out laughing. It was just so ridiculous this whole situation. Something that should have made me blush and apologized like a lady, made so much gibberish that I could not stop laughing. I didn't even know where those words came from, and I was probably going crazy, but winter was almost over and I would be able to go to sleep once more again.

Soon Mia was laughing with me. I'm sure the people looking at us from below thought we were crazy, but we really didn't give a shit.


	8. Document by Jaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to skip this chapter, it was originally supposed to be rather serious, but for shits and giggles I decided to make it cute?
> 
> Warning: Lots of smacking going on.

Purpose of document: To observe human existence of the child that master saved named Rin, this record is for Lord Sesshomaru's eyes-only! If you're not Lord Sesshomaru then I will be very angry! (Waves stick threatening at you)(It's not very threatening)(It's rather cute)

Rin has rather the ADHD personality; I seriously wouldn't be surprised if she starts to walk on ceilings. I have no idea what goes on in her stupid head, and she's always waiting for you Lord Sesshomaru, but she doesn't even remember your name! Why don't we just forget about her, how about I find you a very sexy wife? Huh! Huh! Sounds fun right, then maybe… (Jaken gets smacked)

Uh hmm. Let me continua. (Jaken trying to be smart) (Gets smacked again)

Honestly have you seen her chest! (Evil glare from you know who) (Jaken finally shuts up)

Rin's friend Mia was to be married off to the goblin clan chief Kyro. Kyro is known for abusing his wives and throwing them away once they produce a heir. Talking about heirs, Lord Sesshomaru have I ever told you about my sister? She's very sexy, splitting image of myself of course. (Lord, what's wrong! You look sick!)

Before Mia's wedding took place, Rin had conducted in some sessions of uncharacteristic behavior and activities. (?) (She became involved with a woman, Jaken whispers in Sesshomaru's ear) (Jaken gets smacked)

It had seemed that she gathered ingredients like roses and chemicals to create a human word call Hair Dye. The effect was that her hair turned the color red for the day of Mia's wedding. It looks horrible! (Shows Sesshomaru a picture of Rin) Now, about that sexy wife for me- I mean you- (Gets ignored) Don't ignore me my lord!

Additional investigating to why Rin would dye her hair is seen with her companion, a human warrior named Haku. It seems that he detests the color red, and investigation has revealed that more prominently he is very fixated on marrying the young Rin. (Jaken sings Rin and Haku, kissing in a tree) (Gets smacked) Lord Sesshomaru, you're giving me brain damage!

In Rin's attempt to dissolve these romantic advances that Haku was stressing on her, she turned her hair to the color he distasted the most (go look at that terrible picture of Rin again Lord Sesshomaru and tell me that you don't want my sister!) in the shimmering hopes that he would give up on her and find an alternative women. (Lord Sesshomaru please stop smiling! Its scaring me!)

Research had shown nevertheless that Haku increasingly even supplementary started to forced himself to ignore her hair color and still places superfluous advances on Rin, in which it is seen within her facial expressions and her comprehensible annoyance and negative response of him that it is not in any means reciprocated. (Jaken, quit using the dictionary to look smarter)

Rin had spent the last winter in the Goblin castle visiting her friend Mia, given that Mia was not aloud to depart from the region she distinguishably resided. (Jaken that doesn't even make sense)

It seems that this marriage as Rin had described it is certainly like a life punishment/imprisonment.

Rin had been openly horrified with the bruises on Mia, which were evidently caused by her husband Kyro's abuse.

Rin also quickly discovered that her friend was pregnant, which was no a shocker since Kyro had made it clear his intentions with the adolescent girl. (…) (My sister is very fertile-) (SHUT UP JAKEN)

Rin is also appeared to been having insomnia and is persistently waking up in the middle of the night screaming out insightful vocabulary. (I believed she called you a pedophile my lord) (…)

The investigation is for that reason assuming from Rin's past that these out of the ordinary sleeping patterns are not nightmares, because of the fact that she on no account is sweating extraordinarily or frightened when she wakes up. They are without doubt dreams of her past. It is logical that she cannot remember the memories of the dreams very well when she wakes up.

(Aren't I amazing my lord? My sister is also pretty amazing- EKK My lord! Forgive me, please put your sword away)

Conclusion: It seems that Rin has given up waiting for you ultimately Lord Sesshomaru, and is planning to remain living in the human town. (My sister wouldn't give up) (Jaken gets smacked for the hundredth time)

You had asked me long ago my Lord, if you had made the accurate assessment with Rin, since it was painfully obvious the melancholy that Rin has suffered since you had left her in the care of humans. I thought since this is the final time I will be documenting Rin's life under your command, I will answer that question and say that I think did was correct. After all Rin was bound to grow up and having an very unattractive youthful individual like Rin more or less would attract your urges to murder. I am not saying you are in any way weak my Lord to your blood lust, but your father and Inuyasha have both fallen for these rather ugly human temptresses, so I am obliged to say that it is significant for you to stay away from Rin. After all, humans and demons must not co-exist.

(I never asked you that) (You sure?) (Yes.)


	9. Engagement  and her  Sixteenth Winter

I could have sworn I felt someone watching me. I guess I was being paranoid again. I turned to look outside the window at the snow. It was the second day of winter and for the first time in my life I had not gone out and waiting for my imaginary savor. I had accepted that he didn't exist, because if he did, and he chose to leave me in this shitty town, I could never forgive him.

I had received a letter from Mia earlier today telling me about how her baby was finally born. She decided to name the baby boy Rinku. Apparently Haku and I are her favorite people so she decided to but our names together. To be honest I'm quite disgusted to have my name next to his. At least I'm on top of him. Wordily speaking.

A knock on my door that was not unexpected awoke me from my thoughts and I went to answer the door, wishing I didn't once I found the eighteen-year-old Haku at my doorstep.

"Hello Haku, what can I do you for this evening?" I said as politely as I could. I was not in the mood for him, but then again, I was never in the mood for him.

"I'm inviting you over to dinner at my house for a feast tonight" he replied. He was wearing complete armor, which she supposed he thought made him look tough and wanted.

"Oh I'm afraid that I canno-" I was stopped before I could finish.

"It is not really an invitation as it is an order, I'll see you at seven sharp, do not be late" he said dryly with a snap in his voice before turning around and heading back to his own house.

Since I had no choice, I got ready. I didn't want Gion smashing my head against bricks again. That seriously hurt.

I wore my white and light yellow kimono to the mayor's house and knocked softly at the door hoping no one would answer so I could use it as an excuse to leave. But sure enough Gion answered the door and stared down at me with his heartless eyes.

"Good evening Rin" Gion greeted me while he led me to the dining room before he forcefully took my wrist and smashed my head on the wall.

At least its not brick.

"You will not speak, the only time you open that pathetic little mouth of yours is to agree and say yes. If you say or do anything else I swear to whatever supernatural being that exist you will see how merciless I really am you little mischievous slut" he said coldly beside my ear trying to put as much fear into me as possible.

Once he let go of me and walked in front of me I flipped him off.

Walking into the dining room I was rubbing my wrists since it hurt like a nasty rash. Everyone was already in there seats and the only empty one was beside Haku. Figures.

I sat beside Haku and started putting bits and pieces of each type on food on my plate and then simply looked at my food since Gion had made any kind of appetite I could potentially have soar away.

"Aren't you hungry?" said the warrior next to me.

"I'm not, I don't have much of an appetite" I replied not making eye contact.

"Well attempt to eat, if you don't my mother will be offended" he said, shoving large amounts of food down his throat. Attractive…

I looked down at my food and then at Gion as his eyes bore into mine telling me exactly what Haku had just said. Eat.

Kristin, Haku's mother came up to me and asked how dinner was, I told her it was wonderful, of course. I then watched Kristin clean up the dishes, then the rest of the kitchen, and then took out the baked goods she had prepared for desert and placed them on the counter. Watching her made my resolve to never get married only harden. Kristin was about as interesting as a broken stick. At least with a stick you could have fun with it, pretending to be a witch or using it as a sword. But once a stick has broken it has lost its value since it will never be as good as it once was. That was Kristin. Broken into being a housemaid for the rest of her life.

I didn't want to make eye contact with Gion since I would only see his disgusting pride in his eyes if I did. He knew as well as I did that he had won. I had nothing; I didn't even have my imagination anymore. I was a worn out stick and his announcement this evening would surly be my breaking point. There is no way they are inviting me here without making some kind of announcement.

"What are you looking at so intently outside?" Haku asked behind me.

"I was thinking…" I let my thoughts wonder out loud.

"About what" he asked curiously.

"It doesn't matter," I said as I sighed and then leaned my head on the wall. "Its time for desert I guess?"

Haku walked beside me back to the awful dining room that would seal my fate.

"I have an announcement to make" Gion said, and the minute he did I saw Haku's eyes glimmer up to his fathers and big grin had possessed his face. I called it.

Yes it was finally time to break me.

"With Rin's agreement, my sons and our family, I declare that Rin and Haku will be becoming one this time next year for a wedding ceremony!" Gion finished with a horrible smile on his face and his wicked cold eyes looking down at mine.

***

"Kagome? Why do you look so sad?" asked her half demon lover.

Kagome looked at Inuyasha, and slowly remembered the conversation they had so many years ago.

"But Inuyasha, you can't actually be thinking of letting Kaede adopt Rin? I know that Rin was openly okay with Kaede at first when Sesshomaru would regularly visit but now that he has decided that it is best for Rin to have no involvement with himself or other demons, her behavior towards Kaede and myself has been drastically negative!" Kagome told her lover.

"Kagome, what do you suppose I do? There is nothing I can do. Sesshomaru doesn't listen to reason, the only thing we can do is let that Kaede do her best in re-introducing Rin to normal society" Inuyasha said with a low voice has he pulled Kagome into an embrace.

Looking out the window at the mayor's house Kagome let a tear pass down her cheek.

"Kagome?!" Inuyasha said shocked while quickly finding his place by her side.

"Do you think we did the right thing? Lie to Rin that your brother does not exist?" Kagome whimpered.

"Kagome... what else could we do? Sesshomaru wanted nothing to do with her. It wasn't fair to let her believe he existed after he abandoned her. You've seen what happens to humans who communicate with demons, after the demon leaves the human stumbles into a suicidal state being unable to listen to any kind of reason" Inuyasha wiped her cheek and kissed it, "I don't think we could live with ourselves if we didn't make this choice, if we let Rin believe he existed and he left her, it would have been so much harder on her."

"I suppose your right" Kagome said regretfully.


	10. Broken Objects  and her  Seventeenth Winter

Normally she would be outside on this day, by the gate, waiting for her demon but she was not, could not, and in her option it was quite cruel that they made it this day to do it. It was the first day of winter, and today was that day. It was the day the stick that represented my old life broke and her new life began. It is the day that the child at heart throws away his or her old toys. It is the day tears become meaningless to this cruel world and adolescent girls are forced to become women. Yes, it was that day.

I always rejected the idea of myself getting married. It sounded disgusting that I would be married to some man I either knew or never meet and I would get prettied up to sign a pathetic piece of paper. But that was not the worst of it. It was the fact these disgusting creatures called men would place their hands on my body and take away my innocence's.

My innocent mind had made me stand outside since I was eleven years old believing that a beautiful silver haired man was coming to save me. It was a nice fairy tail and I'm sure my useless parents who deserted me to this worthless village meant well when they had told me this story so I did not run after them as they ditched me. That was my story of how I became to live in this village once I accepted there was no demon that raised me.

The red in my hair had but all come out and know I had long black hair that reached my waist. It was straight and sometime it had waves depending on how I dried it. I had powdered my body so I had china white skin and no a blemishes. My lips had been painted rosy red at my request. I suppose even in the darkest moments in my life I could still find humor. I had dark eye shadow on and black liquid eyeliner.

I wore a beautiful kimono that I even admitted was the most stunning object I had ever owned in my life. It was white but there was golden lily's imprinted on in everywhere on the kimono but became a darker golden color as the imprinted lily's reached the bottom of the kimono. My hair was braided and put up in a design that even proud demon men would lust over. I thought the hair-do looked much like a crown and I had a lily clipped in and put into my hair.

My nails were painted clear with white tips as well as my toenails, as Kagome called it a French manicure. It made my fingers look clean and lady like, but for some reason I didn't detest it.

I looked at myself in the mirror and did not recognize the person looking back. The person in the mirror was beautiful like a queen. She was elegant and tender looking with flames in her eyes. I am not beautiful, I am brutal and I crave pain and fighting. I am not some kind of prized possession. I am a beast living in a human body, ready to pounce anyone or anything.

Turning around I grabbed an object that was heavy and hurled it at the mirror, breaking it into a thousand pieces. That's right, today is my wedding day.

Hearing the glass shatter Gion opened the door without knocking and stared at me with fury. "Don't you know that breaking a mirror is bad luck?" He roared at me.

"Don't you know that I don't caaare?" I said extending the word care, to annoy him.

Shaking his head he said, "Lets go" as he picked me up at my house with Kristin, Haku's brain dead (In my option) mother and walked me to their house, making sure I could not escape. They locked me in a plain room with only one small window and a chair. Nothing else.

Okay lets try to calm down Rin. You are getting married to Haku, that's not so bad right? He's not that bad looking and I'm sure he won't be too rough when you have to... I did not want to continue that thought.

Okay… lets try to think of something else positive. At least, Gion, will not have control over me anymore, Haku does now. Not helping.

Well Mia, will be my sister-in-law now! But I'll never get to see her since I will not be aloud to leave the village… Still not helping.

In an attempt to think of at least one positive thing, I was not sure what happened but I took the chair and placed my hands on either sides of it and threw it at the window as hard as possible. Please break.

The window then broke and I was sure that the loud noise made everyone aware something was happening. Better get out of here.

Although the window was indeed broken many shards were left over and as I climbed out of the window from the tiny room to outside. I had cut myself in many places but the worst was that my stomach, it was a deep cut and was bleeding, leaving blood dripping down the glass and on the bricks outside the house.

I put my arms over my stomach, as it was so painful. Nothing I had ever felt was as painful as this cut. I remember someone telling me that the stomach it the most sensitive place and the most painful place to be stabbed, but then I remembered my pathetic human life and suddenly the pain started to feel good. Well not good, but it didn't hurt as much. I looked at my hands as they were now crimson red with my blood, and as I rubbed my bloody hands on my neck I ended up infusing the pale china color of my skin with this beautiful rouge color, I was basking it in and enjoying it. The pain was utterly breathtaking, I didn't know how much emotional pain I was in till now. I discovered that physical pain was the only pain to take the emotional one away.

"I SEE HER!" A roughly dry voice yelled out. I didn't know who yelled but I didn't care in that moment. All that mattered was getting away from this hellhole.


	11. Amends  and her  Seventeenth Winter

I could see my feet and my legs as they were also cut and the aches were almost too much to run. My beautiful kimono looked even more beautiful with scarlet red and gold lilies on it. Bloody lily's was the new name I gave the kimono. The top part of the kimono where my shoulders rested had drops of my blood on them, and the edges of the kimono where my hands were was also splattered with blood. Most of the kimono was still colorless but at the ends where my legs were, added blood started to appear on the silk cloth. I thought it looked beautiful.

To anyone else I probably looked like a mad women, and I in all probability was, this village had driven any fraction of my sanity out, if there was any to begin with. After all, dreaming and believing that a demon raised you is not exactly sane, but neither are the people in this village.

It took a few seconds for my brain to finally notify my unreliable legs to work and I ran as rapid as I could. It hurt so much, but the thought of having to stay in this village for the rest of my life, scared me so much that it became my adrenalin. I ran past the god-awful gate that I use to sit every winter at and when I passed it I realized that door was the exit to my imprisonment of the last six years. I ran as fast as I could into the forest gasping heavily. As, I was not use to running, and the pain was starting to catch up to me.

I kept running though. The thought of Gion or anyone else in that cursed village finding me scared me so much that I refused to slow down to a walk or take a break. I didn't even what to think about what they would do to me if I were caught.

I fell a few times on the ground causing more of my blood to spill out along with causing several bruises and cuts to form on my body due to the blasted roots on the ground. The bottom of my feet was even bloodier since I had been running with no shoes on. I had not been running to a specific place, but as I ran, I started to be reminded of certain trees and the area started to look familiar. I had no idea why though, I had never been to this part of the forest.

I fell again, this time in a puddle surrounded by rocks, and this fall hurt the most, since before I had only fallen on the dirt or grass. I forced myself up again looking at my reflection in a puddle and didn't recognize myself. I was bleeding everywhere and I had bloodlust in my eyes. I didn't looked like the person, I looked like a demon who just slathered a village. Or perhaps I looked like a pathetic human who couldn't even run straight without falling. But either way I preferred this look. It looked wild and free.

I got up and continued to run as high-speed as I could even though the pleasant feeling of pain had left my body and now all that was left was incredible pain that was screaming ever so loudly, to every single muscle in my body to stop working and to lay down and die already.

That's when I realized it, I was dying and did it even feel great. I was free; truly free. But this feeling didn't last as my body finally gave up and I collapsed on a familiar enormous tree. But I didn't give it a second thought. I couldn't think and all I knew was that I was dying and that my life sucked. I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to live.

At least my wish was coming true. I was free, I didn't have anymore human responsibilities (Like getting married and having children) and I didn't have to become a broken stick. Instead I was becoming a completely denigrated stick that would leave no signs of existence behind.

I'm sorry Mia. I tried my best, but I can't be as brave as you were.

I'm sorry Kaede. I couldn't become an appropriate woman of society. Oh and sorry for breaking your mirror.

I'm sorry Kagome. I knew you tried your hardest to stop this wedding and to raise me after Kaede died.

I'm sorry Haku, that you are an asshole. Scratch that. I'm not really sorry for anything regarding you and I'm not sorry that I couldn't love you. By the way, start wearing a shirt in the winter.

Fuck you Gion, I hope you rot in hell.

Kristen, you're useless. Thank you for being useless so I knew never to become like you.

In the middle of saying my pathetic amends I felt the most powerful, fresh touch in the world, on my cheek. It was someone's hand stroking my face ever so softly and I attempted to open my eyes too see the one who could possible cause such an amazing sensual touch. But my eyes would not listen to me.

There was no way it was anyone I knew. Because I just knew this touch was not human. It felt too familiar and wonderful to be a humans.

"Rin…" A so familiar and beautiful masculine voice soundlessly called my name.

My entire body responded to his voice. My arms wanted to reach and put my fingers through his hair. My chest wanted to be pushed against his own, my legs wanted to wrap themselves around his waist.

My entire existence seem to scream at me that I knew this mans name, but I could not picture it. Instead I settled with the thought of dying in this mans arms and a small smile had been placed on my lips.

"RIN!" the masculine voice roared.


	12. Sensitivity  and her  Seventeenth Winter

Her body felt so sensitive, she could feel everything around her and it roughly felt like she was on fire. Rin didn't know at first whether she liked this feeling or not, but she concluded that she could feel everything from the light wind on her toes to her hair briefly flowing in the wind, and then feeling it being brought back down to the ground.

She figured she was laying on the ground, or a rock bed. They must have buried her. She wonder if they gave her a proper ceremony, she wouldn't have been surprised if they didn't, after all she had disrespected everyone in the town, especially Haku. Rin found that it did not matter; she was dead now.

The thought that she was going to be like this forever scared her, and she quickly regretted dying if this was the fate she was going to now be forced upon. In her silent screams she heard something peaceful, something that sounded like footsteps walking towards her.

She felt a soft palm glaze her forehead, the feeling was cool and her heart began to race. She attempted to open her eyelids but she soon realized that it would be impossible. She had no strength left to lift them, or maybe she was truly dead and that was why she could not open them. She couldn't tell who it was that might have been touching her. Kagome? No Kagome is with the living. A god? She doubted that. She thought of one more name, it was ridiculous but she thought it anyways. Lord Sesshomaru.

The being had continued to touch her and was now beginning to rub her arm ever so gentle that you would think that the individual was her lover. She could hear, which she now assumed by the deep beautiful voice, the the being was a man. He whisper her name over and over again in what sounded like pain in his voice.

"Rin…" The dry voice said louder.

She forced back a silent cry as she thought of the name, his name. The name of the man she had been forced to forget by the villagers. She never could forget about him no matter how much she tried. He was installed into her flesh and bones in the form of a memory. He had after all, raised her and no one ever forgets the person who raised him or her… Or maybe it was because he saved her life more than once. Maybe it was because ultimately he was her first love.

She tried to open her eyes again but it was no use. She felt the same hand that was so gentle like before, stoke behind her soft delicate neck, and push her neck up till her cheek was rested against a strong chest. A male muscular chest, from the hard muscle she was resting on, it was not that uncomfortable, it was rather smoothing. Another arm was tucked underneath her thighs and lifted her body up, and the other arm moved from her neck to it being wrapped around her, just below her small breasts.

A silent cry was brought out from her lips and was muffled because of the mans strong chest. She then noticed something beautiful, she could hear the slow, but neither-less flow of a heartbeat from the man. If she was not against this mans chest, then she would have definitely had been crying pathetically to herself right now. She didn't understand, but for some reason this man was comforting to her, and her body did not want to move away from him anytime soon.

Her hair felt like it was in the air again, and if she could see, then she would swear that they were flying. Is this my transportation to heaven, or is this a demon who is planning to eat me?

She suddenly felt sick at the thought and begin to struggle.

"Rin" the masculine voice called her. He then said her name again, but this time much louder. "Rin, I will not harm you, you know who I am after all." He continued without talking a breath. She knew, since she was listening to his heart.

She couldn't think. She was so sensitive, not only her feelings, which were out of control but also her body. Her inner thighs were burning and wet. She understood somewhat what she was feeling was called lust, but she never in her life felt such pleasure coming from that area, and at a time like this no less. She didn't want anyone but this man to take her. She didn't even really know what that meant, she was so inexperienced, and it wasn't like Kaede was around to tell her. Not that she would want an old woman to tell her about sex.

The man growled, and she blushed at the thought that he seemed to know that she was aroused. Maybe just maybe, he was aroused too. The thought excited her.

She then felt him lifting her down from his tight hold. Yeah, we were defiantly just flying. She could feel sand on her toes and she laid down enjoying its soft touch and warm feel. She could not feel the sun on her body so she guessed that it was night time, or they were in the shade. The weather was nice and warm, not hot and not cold, and barely any wind.

She could feel him near her, and then suddenly she could tell he was gone. After a few minutes he returned and then began to tend to her burses and cuts, healing them with his own power, bandages and other such medicines.

He strangely smelled of masculinity and spice. It was so different and erotic at the same time. She squeezed her thighs together and told her body to once again calm down. In the amidst of doing so she could hear him growl to himself once more, and it brought I slight smirk to her face.

She could also tell he had long hair and from what she had felt when it bushed her body, and she could tell it was very silk like. He was taller than her, and he was slim but also very muscular and toned from what she could feel.

He put his mouth to her neck, and she automatically let out a pleasurable noise. Oh deity it felt so good. Instead of stopping he continued to suck on her neck and even made small kisses to her jaw.


	13. Becoming One  and her  Seventeenth Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Warning!

"Rin, open your eyes" The unknown voice said.

She obeyed, and when she opened her eyes, she wasn't surprised at who she saw. It was Lord Sesshomaru and he hadn't aged a day. His hair was still long and silver, his body was just as she recalled when she was feeling him up moments earlier. His eyes were golden and were looking right into her own eyes. His chin was firm and he had a half moon tattoo on his forehead.

She decided she needed to touch his face, so she lifted her hand up to cup his face, her hand was so small compared to his large face though. She lifted her fingers up to the half moon and stoked it, realizing how much she missed seeing it. Her hand then stoked the two stripes on each of his checks and placed her lips on his check, giving him a shy peck.

His hand then moved up her thigh.

"Rin" His rusty masculine voice called her name again.

His lips slowly touched her own, it was almost like he was nervous, but she doubted that, Lord Sesshomaru was never nervous… right?

She closed her eyes and then suddenly his mouth slammed on hers for a desperate kiss. She then replied his kiss by her own desperate kiss. He moved his tongue around her mouth feeling every single inch of it. Her own tongue wrapped with his and then she moved her hips up to meet his own.

He was sitting up on the sand and she was sitting on top on him with her legs separated and lying on either side of him. Rin could feel his hardness and it made her excited. She wanted him inside her. She put her fingers through his long hair and clenched it. In response he had tightened his hold on her tiny body.

"I want you," she said to him, blushing. She knew her checks had gotten bright red. She also knew she must look like a wild women. Her guessed that her hair had to be all tangled up in addition to her kimono that was pretty bloody and ripped. When she peeked down to look at her legs she noticed that all the bruises and cuts were healed. How?

He seemed to want the same because he began to slide his own clothing off. She noted that his armor was already taken off, and what was mostly left, was his white and red kimono. It was slipped off with ease and he was completely naked. Her eyes were half closed, looking away from him. She was embarrassed to look at him, but she seemed to have some courage left in her because she did end up looking.

For the first time she got a good look at his naked flesh. She was right when she thought it was nighttime, because the moon was out and it was a full. The light of the moon shined off Sesshomaru and caused his skin to practically glow white. His chest was muscularly built but wasn't covered with muscle; instead it was just the perfect amount. He looked perfect in her eyes, and she suddenly felt flawed.

She placed her lips on his neck and kissed as well as began to lightly suck on his flesh. She had seen other women do this and she wanted to try it. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she noticed that his skin was rough; likely from the many battles he fought. He really does smell like spice. She smiled to herself.

Rin then placed her hips on top of his. She was kind of surprised he was letting her take control, but loving it all the same. She then rolled her hips on top of his hardness, and she heard him groaned. He latched his mouth on her neck and began to suck like she had, but a lot rougher until red spots started to show on her skin where his mouth was.

He put his hands on her waist then moved his own waist along with hers. They were touching each other everywhere and when she supposed that he had enough of their position he flipped her off of him and she landed on her back on the soft sand. Grinning to herself, she pushed her mouth onto his again and let her tongue follow his lead.

He then finished removing all of Rin's clothing, which was just one bloody kimono, and began to give attention to her breasts. He placed his lips around her nipple, and while he did that he placed one of his hands on her other breast and squeezed it. All Rin could do was moan in pleasure as he did this.

She then started to reach a sensitive overwhelming feeling, so she tried to push his head away. She felt like she was going to faint with pleasure if he didn't stop, but instead of stopping he pined both her wrists together behind her head, and continued what he was doing. Soon she was overcome with an amazing feeling that made her toes feel freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time. She then experienced something happening within her body that completely heated it up with pleasure. Once it was over she felt a peaceful, and overall amazing.

Sesshomaru looked up at her face and gave her a light kiss on her lips. Sometime during this he decided to let go on her wrists. She kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck. Even though she didn't do anything, she felt completely exhausted, but clearly he had much more in store for her.

He rocked his hips dryly into her, without entering her, and greedily kissed her neck.

"Rin, are you sure you want this" He said with his voice full of lust.

She didn't answer, because at this point she didn't even know. Her body told her to do it, but her head was so cloudy, she didn't even truly understand what was going on. Instead of answering she kissed him lightly and got a hard kiss from him in return. It seemed that was all that was needed in telling Sesshomaru that this was what she wanted, whether she knew it or not.

He led her hand down to his crotch, placing her hand on his length. By the size of it, Rin couldn't imagine how it was suppose to fit inside of her. Tiny butterflies inside her stomach went completely insane, fluttering and making her feel things she never felt before. She knew that the feeling was exhilaration, and something else she didn't know.

She stroked his cock softly and he seemed to enjoy it. While she did that he had softly entered one of his fingers inside of her. It felt a bit uncomfortable since it was the first time anything other than her own fingers had entered that area. Her fingers were short and skinny and his were not.

Before she knew it he had inserted two fingers inside of her, it hurt and was even more uncomfortable. Rin was also feeling irritated that he wasn't placing his cock inside of her so she pushed her knees up behind his back and nudged him, trying to tell him she was ready.

He smirked and let out a sly laugh to which he shook his head thinking to himself and then bend down to kiss her lips.

He obeyed her pushed the head of his cock inside of her. It felt weird, and she couldn't explain it. It hurt, but it wasn't an overwhelming pain, it was something else, and she could stand this pain without letting it take any pleasure away. She tried to not show any sign of pain on her face as he pushed into her slowly.

He was being gentle to the point where she found it amusing. She kissed his neck in addition to squeezing her arms tighter around his neck. After a few minutes of slowing pushing in and out of her, he quickened his movements.

The feeling like before when he was teasing her breast, a pleasurable feeling began to build up and she could help but continue to moan. It started to feel so good, plus the pain also went away. Sesshomaru was breathing more heavily against her ear as his movements got even faster.

The feeling of overpowering pleasure came over her and her mind simply stopped. Before she knew it, he was finished and it was over. She felt him kiss her in addition to him saying something soft and unlike him in her ear, but she was suddenly too tired to comprehend what he said, so she simply let herself fall into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? This was my first time writing smut...


	14. Aftermath  and her  Seventeenth Winter

The first thing Rin noticed without opening her eyes when she woke up was that her hips hurt like hell, and when she did opened her eyes she noticed two golden mischievous eyes watching her.

Her head was on his arm and her body was resting against his own. She could see that her hair was tangled up between their bodies and that the red dyed hair color had faded out, it was now back to the shadowy black color she was born with. She looked down at her own body to notice many new bruises on herself and of course her nakedness. Feeling vulnerable she decided to look back to the demon that she had slept with. Something about him seemed so familiar, and then she realized it all over again, just who the demon was that was beside her.

Lord Sesshomaru exists!

He exists… and he left me in that horrible village all alone. He let everyone convince me he didn't exist and he probably knew about my forced marriage to Haku too! Anger then irrupted in her chest, and she drew her eyebrows together.

Rin lifted her chin up to face him with a glare in her eyes. She couldn't believe she had just given her virginity to this demon! She had saved her virginity for no one, wanting to be alone for her whole life. Her stupid body was obviously not obeying what her mind wanted.

She lifted her hand up and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. She felt unbelievable pain on her hand and she looked at his face to see that not even a mark was left on him.

"Why" she asked him in pure fury, "Why did you leave me with those humans, why did you come back now!"

He didn't say anything; he instead simply stared at her. His silver long hair was spread along the ground with her black hair and she took in his own nakedness. Blushing from what she saw, Rin decided to look around and noticed that they were beside a river, on the sand, outside, and of course naked. This whole situation was just completely baffling to her, but she refused to let it sidetrack her.

She took another peek at his body, but this time just from his chest up. On his neck were about four or five red kiss marks. Uh oh, I did that didn't I…Looking back to his eyes, she remember she needed questions to be answered before she let herself make another mistake with this handsome demon. Her body really wanted to have a second go at him.

She in all honesty wanted him to say he was forced to leave her, and he planned everyday to come back to her.

"Tell me your reason for leaving me with Lady Kaede, and for not visiting me" she questioned her again. She once again got no answer. "Answer me!" Rin cried out, letting tears fall down her cheeks.

Sesshomaru simply continued to stare at her with no emotion on his face. He wiped away her tears with his hand and continued to stay speechless. She wanted to slap his hand away when it came near her checks, but she couldn't fine the strength in her to do so.

She figured he was thinking of an answer so she kept quiet waiting for him to say anything, but he didn't. After a few more minutes she asked the same question again but in a more gentle and professional voice, but she still did not receive an answer.

She subsequently tried to get up, but her hips hurt too much and she fell back to the ground beside him. Ugh! Why did he have to be so big! Reminding her what she meant by that thought, Rin's face went completely red and to recompose herself she looked down to only end up seeing his throbbing length between his legs. Damn it was huge, and it looked hard.

She mentally punched herself at that thought. She's supposed to be mad at him!

After a few struggles to stand up with no help from Sesshomaru she finally got up and began to dress herself in her bloody and ripped Kimoto. It didn't cover much of her body, but it was at least something. She then sent him another glare, hoping he would open his mouth but he didn't.

She determined that she needed time alone, mostly to regain her sanity. Rin wasn't sure if she was going to ever come back to this sinful area, and she didn't care if he remained or not, as long as he didn't dare follow her. Well, at least not right now, maybe later he could follow her… not that Lord Sesshomaru would ever go through the trouble.

She was too angry with herself and with him. Herself for freely giving her virginity to him so easily, and Sesshomaru for abandoning her when she was just a child and showing up now, when she renounced her will to live. Why didn't he come when she needed him the most!

As she began to walk off the beach and into the forest, she started to stumble and almost fell. She would have fell if it weren't for Sesshomaru's powerful arm that pulled her up to his torso.

"What are you doing? Leave me alone! You didn't seem to have a problem doing that over the last how many years of my life!" she spitted out at him, hoping to see some kind of emotion in his face. But of course there was nothing. He simply stared at her with no emotion on his damn perfect face.

She noted that he was still fully naked, and obviously did not care for clothing himself. She remembered that his armor had been taken off sometime between before he found her and when she had opened her eyes. His red and white kimono was surly still on the beach.

"LET ME GO!" Rin yelled at the top of her lungs. She knew he had excellent hearing so she didn't have to yell, but her anger was too much to reason with.

Of course being Sesshomaru, he didn't let her go, and he actually seemed to tighten his grip on her abdomen forcing her even more into his own body. It was as if he was telling her it was futile.

"I hate you," she whispered, immediately regretting it. She didn't hate him, she was just so confused and she honestly had no idea what to feel, everything in the last few days took so much energy out of her.

No emotion. He didn't even flinch; it was like he didn't have emotions, and that was what pissed her off the most.

"Show me some kind of emotion!" Rin began to cry furiously. Why the hell is he not talking!

"I'm sorry," He said in a whisper. If she had not been right against his body she wouldn't have heard his confession. Speaking of her body, her back was right up against his chest and her lower bottom was right against his… she blushed thinking about it.

He then looked down at her, and she could tell that he was actually sorry. She had no idea what he was sorry for though.

"Let me go!" she ordered

It seemed to annoy him that Rin was giving him an order, however he seemed to have brought control over himself and his emotions because she could no longer see annoyance on his face. He of course, also ignored her order completely.

At least he's showing some emotion… even if its annoyance.

"If I let go of you, where will you go?" He asked. The corner of his mouth curved upward.

"I… I… will… go…" Rin realized she had nowhere to go. The village was not an option since she just angered the villager's by running away on her own wedding to their future leader. There was also the fact that if she went back she would be forced to marry Haku or some other male. Or Gion would just kill her. She also didn't really know how to get out of the forest, and even though she was strong, she had no chance against a demon, plus she didn't have her sword, she was completely defenseless. She really hated logic sometimes.

"Why does it matter to you?" she demanded him to answer her. She tried to look strong by placing her hands at her hips. He seemed to find her position amusing.

"High class demon's like myself… when we mate… we stay with that person till death." He said ever so slowly. "I mated with you, therefore you are my mate"

That wasn't exactly true, but Sesshomaru was willing to use anything to not lose Rin again, especially now that she was older and had more worth to him.

You have got to be kidding me, Rin thought. There is no way she could be with this guy for life! I mean… I knew him when I was a child, but most of my memories of him are hard to recall. I don't even know this guy anymore! She looked at Sesshomaru and started to panic.

"I refuse" Rin said simply, pretending she was not having a panic attack inside.

"You don't have a choice,"


	15. Human  and her  Seventeenth Winter

When Rin was still little just after war had ended, Lord Sesshomaru decided it was time to give Rin a taste of a normal human life. After all, she couldn't keep traveling with him, it was too dangerous and she was too fragile. He had found the village that his idiotic brother and his wife was living in. He decided that it would be best if she stayed with them.

He knew that A-Un would miss Rin. She was the one who gave the beast his name. Even though A-Un was Sesshomaru's oldest traveling partner, he never bothered to give the two-headed beast a name. Not even Jaken bothered to give the beast a name, but then again, those two did exactly have the best relationship. A-Un only ever listened to Sesshomaru, until Rin came along. For some reason the beast listened and protected Rin constantly, but when it came to Jaken, he simply ignored him. He also let the girl ride on his back and sleep on it.

As for Jaken, he remembered how annoyed the Imp was when Rin first joined them. The only reason Jaken didn't complain too much about her following them was because of his loyalty to Sesshomaru. The Imp would do any order Sesshomaru ordered him even if it was ridiculous and had no reward. Taking care of Rin was one of those instances. Even though Sesshomaru never ordered Jaken to take care of Rin, he somehow came to expect the imp to just know and do so. Over time thought, Jaken became a little better to Rin. The Imp was jealous that Sesshomaru treated Rin better then himself, but Sesshomaru knew that Jaken would never want Rin to get hurt or kidnapped. Jaken often would beg Sesshomaru to save Rin if something happened to her.

Sesshomaru knew that Rin held lots of respect for Jaken, always calling him "Master Jaken" and commenting on how smart the imp was even when she didn't understand what he was saying.

When he delivered her to the village his foolish brother lived in he had to make a pact with the village leader, who at the time was a woman named Kaede, that no matter what he would never visit her. It made sense, but Rin was all he could think of the first few years, and he had almost broken his pact to the village. He had found himself sub-consciously going to see her so many times, and had even accidently bought her presents. In the end he gave the presents to his brother to give to her instead.

Sesshomaru didn't really blame Rin for being so angry with him. But she gave herself to him, and there would be consequences, after all she could be caring his child for all he knew. A part of him was disgusted of the thought of creating a half-blooded demon like Inuyasha, but when he thought about the fact it was with Rin, it didn't bother him as much.

Words could not even describe how he felt when he saw Rin laying beside that sacred tree where they first meet. She was bleeding and bruised.

When she woke up, he didn't know why, but it just happened. They lounged at each other's throats, sucking, licking and feeling everything both of them could do to make up for the years they had not seen each other.

She tasted so good, like strawberries, and his animal instincts were calling for him to mate with her. He had felt a physical attraction to other women before, but nothing like the spiritual one he felt with Rin.

When she allowed him to do what he wanted with her, his mind went completely blank and his animal urges took over him. He didn't blame her for being confused afterword's, during the act he could smell the blood of her lost virginity, but it only made him want to dominate her even more.

They were compatible. Not only in body but also in soul, both of them longed for each other, and…

Human. How could he forget she was human! She was everything he despised! Humans are weaker than him, they don't deserve a place by his side, and they are foolish creatures that act with their emotions instead of their heads. They cant possible keep up with his intellect.

In that instant he realized he was making the same mistake his father had made. He was following his path. She could be pregnant with his child for all he knew. The worst part was that he couldn't force himself to hate it.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I said I refuse, now please let me go!" Rin said in a stern voice, he knew that she was only trying to sound tuff, after all her legs were shaking. Guess I was too rough.

"And what if you are pregnant with my child?" He replied.

Rin gasped, she completely forgot about the purpose of such activities they had committed. That's right, she could very well be with his child and then what would she do?

"I… what…" Rin gasped again, wanting to cry at this cruel world that kept hurting her.

"You will stay by my side until we find out the fate of this incident. If you are not with my child, then I will grant your wish and let you be free" He said coldly, but then continued with even more ice in his voice. "But if you are with child… we will talk about it, if it comes to that"

Rin thought over her options. She could agree to his plan and let Sesshomaru take care of everything, or she could kick him in the nuts, make him seriously pissed and run off with an angry demon following her. She chose the first because Sesshomaru was scary when he was angry.

"Fine, I will let you take care of this" She said looking right into his golden eyes.

He then finally let her go and they both walked back to where his clothes were on the beach. Rin decided to wash herself in the beach water. She cleaned the blood from her skin and washed the dirt off her skin and hair. Next she tried to clean her muddy and bloody kimono, but it seemed impossible to return it to its white colored original form.

Sighing, she gave up and went back to the beach beside Sesshomaru's side where he decided to final stop showing his present, and putted clothes on.

"So where do we go from here?" she asked. I can't go back to the village.

He seemed to put some thought in it before he answered. "Do you want me to kill Haku for dishonoring you?" he asked

"No- wait how do you know about Haku?" Rin stared into his eyes, but he refused to make eye contact.

"I had someone keep watch over you" he said with no embarrassment. It was very much like this demon lord. Proud, and not caring that he broke lots of privacy barriers.

"Then what about your other friend, the one that was forced to marry the Goblins, do you want to rescue her?" he said this time meeting her eye contact.

"Of course! But why do you want to do things for me?" Rin asked confused.

Sesshomaru did answer; he instead just looked away from her eye contact and stared at the morning sun. Because whether you want it or not, you are now my mate.


	16. Rinku  and her  Seventeenth Winter

Mia held the baby boy in her arms. She was so surprised how cute he was, even thought she had to admit that she thought he looked kind of like a monkey. Mia was expecting the child to be ugly, after all her husband, the father of the baby was quite… different looking. Rinku was what she named the child. She was lucky she got to name first born, usually the goblin elders named the first child. Kyro wasn't all that traditional, and when she asked him if she could name the child herself, he just said "Whatever". So the child was named after her best friend Rin and her older brother Haku.

Rinku was currently stirring in her arms, crying like he did every single moment of the day. She put the baby down in its tiny bed, which had rocking wheels and started rocking it. It was the only way to get the baby to fall asleep. Her mother Kristin and her gather Gion were so proud of her for giving birth to this boy, that it only made her want to hate it, but looking into its eyes she couldn't hate it. She remembered her father telling her "Don't give birth to a girl and disrespect us."

Kyro, her husband and the child's father, was the person she hated the most. He had tanned skin, and it wasn't like a sexy beach boys thought. His skin looked more natural and he looked human but at the same time you could tell he wasn't. He was after all, a goblin. He had pointy ears like an elf's and messy dirty blonde hair that was the only attractive part of his body. His eyes are a kind of bronzy red color and he had fangs on both his top and bottom teeth. Whenever they were forced to kiss, the fangs always cut her lips, and it was really annoying. He was also overweight. He wasn't like that when they first meet and gotten married. He gained the weight recently when he finally let all the stress get to him. She didn't know what he was stressed about though; he was rather useless in the goblin community. It was not like he had an important job, he didn't even make any decisions. The elders made all the decisions and he was just the face of the kingdom, he didn't actually have any power.

He was not at all like his brother Getsu. Getsu had the same messy dirty blood hair like Kyro, but his was tamer and obviously taken care of. That was one of the most attractive things about Getsu, he actually bothered to take care of himself. He had a handsome face with bloodshot dangerous eyes with a firm masculine chin. He had muscular arms and a firm chest; he was not overweight like his brother. He was plain attractive and they had both gotten along very well the last year she had lived here. He had confessed a few weeks ago after her son was born and her best friend disappeared, so she was kind of vulnerable. He had written her a beautiful note and ever since then they would sneak off and meet each other during Rinku's naptime.

Rocking Ranku's crib a little longer until she was sure he was asleep, Mia went to her closet and then put on one of her more seductive dresses. Leaving the castle for the garden she walked down the garden path until she was at the edge of the property where the little lodge was placed, it seemed most of the goblins had forgotten it existed. Lucky for her.

This was the only thing she looked forward to; everyday was so boring, having to taking care of a bum of a husband and a small baby.

Entering it the small lodge, she found Getsu already on the bed without his shirt on. Striping her own clothing off slowly. She started with her coat, then her dress, then the rest, and reached him. She placed a delicate kiss on his lips and then climbed on top of him.

 

////

Rin and Sesshomaru entered the outskirts of the Goblins clan castle ground. They hadn't exactly got onto the property yet; Rin was wary knowing that this plan to rescue Mia could back fire.

She hoped that Mia wouldn't be scared of Sesshomaru, and most of all, she hoped Mia would find the courage to come with them. While traveling all this way she started to think of where Mia would go after they rescued her. She knew that they would both stay close to Lord Sesshomaru, not that she had a choice but after the trail period was done with Lord Sesshomaru would Mia and Rin go live together out in the woods? It didn't sound very practical. She had to at least try.

Lord Sesshomaru had not been too bad to travel with, aside with him being overly protective of her, he had helped her in anyway he could that would make her happy. He claimed that her happiness is what mates stride for.

It made her blush when she thought about mating with him again. Not that she really wanted to mate with him again. She didn't hate him, but she didn't love him either, she didn't know him at all, even when she was a child she barley knew him.

"AHHHHH!"

Rin and Sesshomaru heard a loud scream coming from a distance away.

"That sounded like Mia!" Rin exclaimed, turning her glaze to Sesshomaru. She knew that fear was showing in her face.

How human of her to show ever bit of emotion on her face, Sesshomaru thought. He had better hearing than her, so he knew it was not a necessarily bad scream.

"The sound came from the right, I can tell that the sound was bluffed by a building or wall, so she cant be far for us to have heard her…" Sesshomaru replied, disliking the fact that he was helping a human, but happy that this mission was almost over and he would make Rin emotionally one-step closer to him.

Rin began to run in the direction that Sesshomaru pointed in, and Sesshomaru simply walking a little faster than usual, if even that.

Rin saw a lodge in the distance and ran ahead of Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru could smell the sent of a human, whom he guessed was the women named Mia, and a weak Goblin. From other smells and noises he could hear, he concluded that they were mating. He decided he didn't want to see a naked human, unless it was Rin, so he stayed a little farther back. He also wasn't interested in seeing other cross species have sex. Sesshomaru could easily reach Rin's side in seconds incase she was in any trouble, so he wasn't worried, not that he ever was. He was the strongest demon in this area, if not the world.

Rin was still running and reached the door to the cabin. She opened the door immediately to find Mia… but she was not alone… or wearing clothes. Instead she was on top of Goblin… that didn't look like her husband Kyro.

"Ekkk! So SORRY!" she yelp out and then closed the door to turn around and face Sesshomaru.

Rin's entire face was blushing as she looked at Lord Sesshomaru, and suddenly the picture of herself on top of Sesshomaru came into her mind. She was on top of him with her legs separated on either side of him, her waist riding against his. He had her hands around her and was pushing her exposed breasts against his chest.

Physically shaking the powerful perverted image from her mind, she wanted to tell him what happed but he raised his hand up as if telling her to stop, that it was not necessary, he already knew what happened.

 

////

Mia was completely stunned, she could not believe that her best friend who had disappeared for the last week or so, just showed up, not at her home village, but at a secret lodge that she and her brother-in-law fucked in.

She got her clothes on ignoring Getsu's complaints that they should continue, and she ran out to find Rin and a silver haired beautiful man.

Ignoring the man, she lunged at Rin, hugging her as tight as possible while crying. "Where the FUCK have you been?" she yelled into Rin's neck. The two girls had a moment crying and laughing randomly when they looked at each others faces.

"Who's the handsome hunk" Mia whispered into Rin's ear.

Sesshomaru could of course hear what the women said, being a demon with superior hearing and all.

"Oh! I… I found him! The man in my dreams from my childhood!" Rin told her.


	17. Pleading  and her  Seventeenth Winter

Mia looked over Rin's shoulder to see the beautiful man simply minding his own business and seeming not to give a care in the world. She noticed his waist length hair and his abnormal appearance. He didn't look human at all. What really took her in was his face since the man looked bored, but she could see hidden emotions in it.

"He looks kind of like a dick," she said into Rin's ear.

Sesshomaru ears twitched and Rin just knew that he had heard that. She had to just hope he wouldn't get upset. No only did he not like humans, but he also didn't like anything weaker than himself, and that would be the smelly goblin behind Mia.

"He kind of is" Rin replied with a giggle, hoping he would not get upset.

This time Sesshomaru's mouth slightly dropped and he sent a glare towards the girls.

"Hey I'm still here you know!" Getsu said coming out of the lodge dressed in clothing.

Rin then got a better look at the man. He looked like Mia's husband Kryo… but she could tell it wasn't the same man. His face was different. Maybe she was wrong… it must be Kryo…

"Oh sorry Hun, this is my best friend Rin, remember? I told you about her many timed. I've been crying all week because she disappeared" Mia told him with a happy-go-lucky smile on her face. Mia then put her arm around the mans waist showing Rin their relationship incase Rin couldn't already tell.

"Uh… yeah… sure I remember her," Getsu said while giving Rin a bow of his head and shaking her hand. Awkward. "I'm Getsu" he said afterwords.

Sesshomaru's ears could immediately tell he was lying. He looked at the disgusting man who was daring to touch his mate's hand. He'd kill him later when Rin wasn't looking. Not that he really cared if Rin liked it or not, but he was already was having a struggle with her just to stay by his side; he didn't want to piss her off too.

Mia then turned to Sesshomaru and stuck out her hand while addressing herself to him. He ignored her, her hand, and just kept his eye contact to Rin, after all that was all her cared about. Mia looked offended by his ignorance of her and gave Rin some kind of look in order to tell her she wasn't pleased. Like he cared. There was no way he was going to touch a human.

"Um… not trying to be a buzz kill, but this man… why isn't his name Kyro?" Rin asked shyly. She could tell he wasn't Kyro from the start but she still wanted to know.

Sesshomaru gave her a look of amusement. She was as naïve as ever.

"That's… that's because he's… my lover… not my husband, T'hehe" Mia said nervously giggling.

Rin's mouth dropped and she just stared at her best friend.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Mia asked Rin. "Not that I'm not pleased to know you are okay, but you should probably tell the village first… then again my father is extremely upset at you"

"I've come to save you from… Kyro" Rin said, unsure of her plan. It seemed that Mia no longer needed to be saved.

She felt embarrassed especially since Sesshomaru asked her 1001 questions making sure that Mia wanted to be saved. For some reason he seemed to know that the woman didn't need to be saved.

"I… don't need to be saved" Mia said looking at her feet, "I love Getsu, and he loves me, right honey?" She asked looking at Getsu. Getsu looked like he wasn't listening and instead he was staring at Rin… Mia then pulled on his arm in irritation and asked him again.

Getsu hesitated and then looked at Mia, "Of… Of course I do!" he said putting on a smile.

Sesshomaru's ears once again twitched. Rin noticed this time and decided to ask him about his twitchy ears later.

"Mia, you never wanted to marry Kyro, he abused you. Don't you remember? You always got burses all over your body, and what about your baby? How do you think he's going to treat it if he can't even treat a woman right, I don't care if Getsu comes with us, just please think this over" she pleaded. Rin really wanted her friend back, especially since she was all alone in the world.

Mia looked like she was thinking about it seriously, but then Getsu interrupted her thoughts.

"Baby! I can't leave, I've got an important job here!" Getsu tried to reason her.

Sesshomaru's ears twitched.

"Oh please, you don't do anything," Mia said, while her eyes narrowed. She then looked at Rin with a sorry look. "I'm sorry but I love him" she said.

How can she be so stupid! Rin thought.

Rin turned to Sesshomaru, who seemed to think this entire thing was the stupidest thing ever, and didn't even seem to be listening. Rin knew he was listening though since his ears would twitch ever so often. Walking over to him while Mia and Getsu argued to themselves, Rin reached to where Sesshomaru was and tugged on his sleeve.

"Sesshomaru, please help" She begged, tears in her eyes. She hated the fact her friend seemed to be brainwashed.

Sesshomaru felt many things. Angry that his mate was so desperate to beg him, sad that she was sad, and frustrated at her friend's stupidity. This is why he hated emotions, they made him do things he would never usually do.

Turning to Rin's friend Mia, he decided he would attempt to help, but only because his mate asked him too. Damn he hated humans, emotions and the feelings he had for Rin.

"Your lover lies, he does not love you, my ears are all knowing, no human or other being can lie to them" Sesshomaru said 'mater of factly' to Mia.

"LIAR! I do love her," Getsu said laying his one palm against his heart and his other hand pointing at Sesshomaru.

"No, you love having sex with her" Sesshomaru said in a monotonic voice.

"Sesshomaru!" Rin gasp out blushing. She couldn't believe how direct he was being.

"What?" Sesshomaru replied rather confused, he helped did he not?

"You're lying to me!" Mia yelled out before Rin could scold Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru's eye narrowed angrily. This is why he does not help humans out, they cannot listen to reason!

Rin shoved her arm in the way of Sesshomaru and Mia. "I don't think he's lying" Rin said, "He's a demon after all" the minute she said it though, she wished she didn't.

Mia gasped and stepped away from Rin. "He's a WHAT? A Demon! EKK! Stay away from me!" Mia squealed and hid behind Getsu.

"Wait Mia, he's okay, he wont hurt us" Rin said attempting to calm her friend down.

"And why is that" Mia questioned, she never heard of a friendly demon, and she wasn't about to believe one exist now.

"Because she's my mate" Sesshomaru replied in place of Rin. Rin turned and gave Sesshomaru a glaring look.

"WHAT!" Mia yelled.

"Yes, that's right, its because… I… SLEPT WITH HIM!" Rin yelled too loudly.

Mia was stunned and Getsu giggled immaturely while Sesshomaru turned his head obviously hiding a smile.

Sesshomaru could hear the castle guards closing in from hearing Rin's overly loud confession.

"Rin, we must leave, there are guard approaching us" he turned to tell her. He could easily kill them all, but it would upset Rin.

Rin turned to Sesshomaru knowing that his comment made sense. "Mia I ask you one more time, please come with me!" Rin pleaded with her best friend.

"I'm sorry… I can't! Please leave!" Mia looked into Rin's eyes feeling guilty.

Rin accepted Mia's answer and turned around to Sesshomaru in order for him to lift her up into his arms so they could fly away.


	18. The Tree Branch  and her  Eighteenth Spring

Being in Sesshomaru's care at first was really weird to Rin, but after the season passed and it was confirmed she was not pregnant with Sesshomaru child, he had no choice but to let her go. Of course she knew that he was watching everything she did.

She was confused at first since Sesshomaru had not even once tried to flirt with her, not that he had ever done that before, but she thought that know they were… well know that they had already did it once, he would try to get her to do it again. But no, not even once did he seem interested in her body. She questioned her attractiveness at first, wondering if she was getting too fat for his taste, but she doubted it.

She wondered if she smelled bad, so she bathed everyday using mint leafs to leave her smelling nice. Halfway through trying to figure out why the Lord didn't want to have sex with her, she realized that she didn't want to have sex with him!

So then why, she wondered, was she putting so much effort into trying to make him want to have sex with her? Was it because she liked the attention? Was she really turning into one of those girls she despises always trying to get the attention of men?

Once she realized this, she then started to refuse to shower and would eat as messy as possible. The response she got was a scolding from Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru's two-headed dragon falling in love with her, and a smirk from Lord Sesshomaru who for some reason seemed to be able to read her mind.

While traveling with Lord Sesshomaru and Jaken they had come across many human villages. She knew how the villagers would react if they saw Lord Sesshomaru so Rin made up an excuse of having "Girl Things" to do. Lord Sesshomaru had given her a look like he knew she was lying, but didn't bother to ask any questions.

Jaken had of course asked what kind of business that meant. She decided to go on to great details what happens every month to an adult female and afterword Jaken refused to make eye contact with her.

Being around Jaken… well she couldn't believe she ever missed the Imp. He was so incredibly rude and always tried to act cocky and extremely annoying. She finally understood why Lord Sesshomaru made so many death threats toward the annoying creature. Rin sometimes wished that he would actually act on them for once.

Her real motive was to investigate the village. Rin figured that she couldn't stay by Lord Sesshomaru's side forever, after all, she was human and he was a demon. Not only that but the man was arrogant and completely didn't care for others. He was cold hearted and could be quite cruel. Rin was lucky that she never received any of that treatment but she new if she stayed by his side she would.

Something inside of her also wanted him to be cold to her; she didn't understand that part of herself. Her only guess was that it would blow out whatever flame she was feeling for him.

She was also having a hard time fighting her desire. Every time before she fell asleep she always had an urge to have a certain demon join her. She also couldn't lie to herself; she knew that Sesshomaru was handsome. His hair was silver his eyes were cold and mysterious, and overall he had a really nice body. When she was around him all reason left her, all she wanted to do was be with him. She still didn't know if it was sexual, emotional or both.

So she had made her decision. Every village she came across she would try to investigate it and see if it was worth living there. She didn't want to end up in another shitty village where the men controlled everything.

The village they had just passed by looked promising, so she told a little lie to Jaken, who no longer asked questions, and the all knowing Sesshomaru who practically ignored her.

When she had made it to the village gates she moved around the outer circle of the gates peeping in to view the villagers. Too her surprise she saw both females and male solders. Her interest in the village peeked up and she went to the back of the small village to see more. Heading for the back of the village, using the trees to blind her from the vision of the villagers, she saw Lord Sesshomaru up ahead sitting on a tree branch with his back leaning on the trees trunk.

At first she was planning to turn away and coward back to their base, but something inside her told Rin that he was not sitting there to watch the humans for his own enjoyment. Rin slowly approached the tree and looked up to see her Lord had not yet deiced to look down at her. She knew that he knew she was there, and was a bit confused as to why he was not addressing her.

"The village looks nice" he said in almost a whisper.

"Oh" Rin replied. She was surprised that he would think humans were nice, especially a village of them.

"Nothing like your old village" He added.

"…" Rin felt embarrassed, he must have known the entire time she was panning on running away from him. "It feels like all I ever do is run," she whispered, not meaning for him to hear, but of course he did with his demon hearing.

"You don't have to run away" Sesshomaru finally brought his darkened golden eyes to her direction.

"… I do though… you wont let me go…" Rin found his glaze too much and decided to look at the ground instead, "would you?"

"No… and yes" he replied.

"What do you mean? You either are going to let me go, or you aren't" Rin said with anger in her voice.

"I let you go once… I can't do that again…" he replied and took his glaze off of her.

"Why not?" Rin questioned. She felt like she was finally getting somewhere with the man.

Sesshomaru took a few moments to answer. In that time Rin had climbed up the tree on the same gigantic branch her Lord was on, and sat somewhat near him. Sesshomaru had then moved his glaze to meet her eyes. His eyes were so beautiful, they were golden, but they had something else in them, something dark.

"I can't… go through that again," He admitted.

"I don't think I would be able too either" Rin admitted honestly.

"Then why do you want to leave?" he asked, his voice didn't show any emotion, and neither did his body, but his eyes showed pain. If he knew that she could see it, he probably would hide his eyes from her, the man didn't want to show off any emotion, not even to Rin.

"Because I'm angry at you!" Rin yelled. She looked over at the village to make sure none of them had notice the discussion going on.

"We have already discussed this" Sesshomaru answered and took his glaze off of her and rested his head on the tree trunk. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be relaxing, but she knew he was just hiding his inner turmoil.

"I can't let it go" Rin said, she could feel tears whelp up. She tried her best to hide her cry from coming out in her voice. "You still haven't really answered me on what your doing here"

"You didn't ask"

"I thought I did, well whatever, what are you doing here?" Rin questioned. She felt her angry and sadness sink back down.

"You plan on running away… I understand" Sesshomaru opened his eyes to look at the village. "This village doesn't seem that bad… you could probably live your life here…" he finished.

"You're going to let me go, you aren't going to force me to be with you?" Rin asked feeling a sense of freedom but also doom.

"No… and yes" he said again, letting a small smirk fall on his face.

"Ugh!" Rin tipped off the tree and would have fallen on her back if Sesshomaru hadn't caught her in the air. Her body was now was against his and her head was lying on his chest. She decided to wrap her arms around him and pull him into an embrace. Her forehead was against his neck and her chest was pushed into his own.

Sesshomaru didn't move. Didn't hug her back, or push her off.

"I would visit you"

"Huh?" Rin asked.

"I would make sure you were happy, that the village was treating you well," he said jumping off the ground with her in his arms and landing on the tree branch. He then let go of her and placed her back in the spot she was sitting before, before going back to the position he liked on the tree trunk.

"I think I would like that" Rin said, smiling in his direction.

"You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness"

His father had said that before he died. Sesshomaru could never understand it, how are you supposed to be happy if you're not with them. But know he understood. Forcing Rin to stay with him wasn't making him happy, and wasn't making her happy. He kept trying to convince himself that he knew what would make her happy, and living away from him would make her miserable.

He had no right to do that and he understood that now. Even if making her happy makes him miserable, he was okay with that, because when she smiled at him, he felt like life suddenly became worth living.

It was strange, he never thought in all his life he would come to love someone, a human no less. He was even more strangely okay with it.


	19. New Home  and her  Eighteenth Summer

"Who cares to admit complete defeat? No one of course" said a man standing at the front of Rin's new village.

The village seemed awesome at first, they weren't all for equality, but they gave women more rights than other villages did. The problem was, that they were always at war! Sesshomaru was the first one to point it out to her as he helped her move into her new house. She had disguised him to look more human, which he completely disliked, but he seemed to do it just so that he could spend time with her.

She of course didn't believe him. She thought he was just saying that so that she would back out and return to him. But no, he wasn't lying; the village seriously had a hard-on for war. What were they battling? Everything. Rin wasn't being overly dramatic; they would battle the flies if they'd thought of it.

The first few days were uncomfortable. A lot of men tried to propose to Rin, a lot of women slapped her because those men were there husbands. She did get a little bit lucky, since she seemed to have moved next to the best person in town.

Her neighbor was an older lady named Anna. Anna had her own little business of making clothes, which Rin immediately applied for. She later regretted this situation when she found Anna was incredibly noisy and wouldn't stop asking about the young man who helped her move.

Once Rin came up with a story, that the young man, named Sesshomaru, was simply a life long friend she had known. His village wad burned down and he was forced to travel in hope of finding a new one. Anna wasn't quite satisfied with the explanation but the old women let it go.

Making clothes was hard; she had never really worked before in her old village. The women around her did everything for her, and she felt guilty now realizing how much work it all was. The clothes were made with woolen and linen cloths. They were rough fabrics, nothing like the silk she use to wear.

After settling in and getting a job, she allowed Sesshomaru to come visit her more often. Once during a hot Sunday, she brought him to the market where she was going to buy food. On a second thought she knew she shouldn't of, since Sesshomaru hated humans and all, but she wanted him to get more use to them. While she was getting all the vegetables and other items she needed, a young man by the name of Jun came up to her. She saw a pissed off look in Sesshomaru's eyes, which meant the young man was up to no good. She already knew that thought, since Anna had warned her about this particular gentleman.

"Is the freaky looking guy your boyfriend" Jun asked bluntly. He was angled with his elbows on the table with which the food sat to be sold. Jun had brown hair and pale skin. He was good looking for a human, but Rin had to admit she wasn't into humans, as freaky as that sounded.

"No… just my friend" she replied grabbing her items and wanting to get away from the boy before Sesshomaru killed him. She looked up at Sesshomaru and saw that he was looking away, at the forest, looking bored. She knew from experience he was anything but calm right now.

"Then how about you ditch him and come hang out with me" Jun said loudly for the entire market to hear.

Rin felt the entire market turn their bodies towards her direction and stare at her. Rin's cheeks became bright red and she looked towards Sesshomaru for help, to which she discovered he had decided to ditch her and was nowhere to be found.

"No thank you" Rin said softly and ran, yes ran, away from the man, leaving her hard earned food behind just to get away from the man. Once she was at the door of her small house, she immediately opened it and slammed it behind her, sliding down the door and going into a crouching position.

"Does that usually happen?" Sesshomaru asked standing in front of her and looking down.

"Where did you go?" Rin asked looking up at him. She wasn't angry, but she was just a little pissed off he didn't help her.

"Answer my question"

"No, now answer mine" Rin said slowly standing up and leaning against the door.

"I was going to kill him, the urge was too strong. I knew you would not have liked me doing that, so I simply removed myself from the situation and watched from afar" He replied to her at last, moving closer towards Rin.

"You do that a lot huh" She said quietly. Sesshomaru's ears twitched, he didn't look angry, or any emotion for that matter.

"Oh no…" Rin gasped pacing around her front entrance.

"What?" He asked walking into the other room.

"I forgot the stuff I bought!" Rin cried out in frustration. Rin walked after Sesshomaru to her kitchen to find her items on the table. Rin looked up at Sesshomaru and sent him a smile. His response was to once again disappear, leaving the situation, and knowing him he was watching from afar.

It was the end of summer and Rin had decided to go to the beach. Weird thing to do, but she wanted to at least do something summer related. To her surprise when she asked Sesshomaru if he wanted to go and had fully expected him to give her a dirty look and tell her where to shoved her idea, okay he wouldn't actually do that, but she never did know what was going on inside his head. Instead he agreed it would be nice to go to the beach. She wanted to take advantage of her luck and asked him if he wanted to do something else, but he had already disappeared.

Sesshomaru has this thing where he tends to appear and reappear at random months on random days for random moments. It would scare her at first but she got use to it.

Now she was packing her bag, since she was going alone with Sesshomaru. It was kind of like a date…

When she had told Anna that she was going the older women had given her an old Swimming suit her grand daughters use to wear. So she packed the swimming suit and left her house to find Sesshomaru waiting at the outskirts of the village.

"I'm glad we are going" Rin said smiling to him. Sesshomaru didn't respond or nod his head.

They walked for about twenty minutes until they found the yellow hot beach sand and the dark blue water. Rin immediately went into the bushes and changed into the swim suit Anna had given her. When she finished putting it on she realized it was red, and really tiny. The swimsuit was two pieced and she remembered Kagome having something like this. It covered her breasts but you could still see from cleavage. The bottom piece barely covered her ass! It left it hanging out.

Accepting she didn't have a choice in this matter, that she would either just wear the small pieces and go have fun in the water or, change back in her clothes and sit in the sun. Rin picked the fun option. Running out from the bushes she accidently ran into Sesshomaru who had gotten rid of his top and was only wearing bottoms. She stared at his chest without knowing it and admired each of his muscles.

At some point she noticed that he was also looking at her body. She felt embarrassed at her lack of curves and tried to cover herself. Sesshomaru's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before she could put something less revealing on.

"Stay like that" He said.

"No, its embarrassing!" Rin replied flustered up.

"I like it" He said, lifting the corner of his lips up in a somewhat twitch.

Rin looked up in his golden eyes. She felt so incredibly embarrassed. She then leaned her head on his chest, since he still had not let her wrist go and let out a sigh.

"Okay I'll stay like this…"

The rest of the day was filled with fun. Rin played in the water for a couple of hours, enjoying the cold water. Afterwards she sat down with Sesshomaru and they watched the sun set in silence until Rin broke it.

"I wish every day could be like this" she said more to herself than Sesshomaru. His head turned to look-glare at her.

"Why are you glaring at me?"

"You know why" Sesshomaru replied, she could hear the anger in his voice.

"I don't!" She told him honestly. "Now tell me why you are mad!"

"I offered you this, and you declined" His eyes were becoming a darker shade of gold.

"That was different, you wanted me to be your possession"

"What's wrong with that" He responded with seriousness.

"You have to be kidding me!" Rin stood up angry, "I am a living being, I deserve to have freedom and make my own choices, not for you to tell me what to do every waking minute of the day"

"I wouldn't have done that" Sesshomaru replied while also standing up. "I would let you make your own decisions as long as they didn't interfere with my plans"

"So what if I wanted to go to the beach alone, would you have let me do that without a body guard or asking you first" She questioned him.

Sesshomaru didn't answer; it looked like he was done with the conversation. "Enough, you are not mine, so why do you worry about how life would have been like"

Rin turned away and packed her things. When she was finished she started to walk back to the village. It was dark, but she was too angry at Sesshomaru to ask him to walk her home. The worst part was that she wasn't even all that sure why she was angry at him. She knew he had issues with letting people live their own lives, also known as control issues, so why then was she surprised he also wanted to control her life. Or at least he wanted to.

Inside her mind she actually didn't mind the thought of someone else making decisions for her. She was tired of making her own, but she knew that it would be wrong to herself to let someone do that.

When she finally reached the front of the village she saw Anna waiting by the gates for her.

"What's up Anna" Rin said tiredly.

"Oh nothing… just on a late night stroll, I was wondering how the date went" Anna asked grinning.

"Date? No no no, it was not a date" Rin said with a light laugh. "It was good… till the end I guess"

"What do you mean child" Anna said poking farther into Rin's personal life.

"I honestly don't know myself" Rin said, it was probably the most honest thing she said all day.

Anna looked at Rin like she was crazy and then the two women walked back to their houses, saying goodbye to each other and goodbye to the nice summer which had brought lots of excitement.


	20. Declaration of War  and her  Eighteenth Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think someone should take my laptop away. I can't believe I wrote that.

Rin hadn't seen Sesshomaru since the night they went to the beach. It was going to be winter in a week and she really didn't want to be alone for it, she knew she was being selfish, but she felt it was unfair to spend another winter without him. It was nighttime and Rin was getting ready to go to a meeting. She wasn't exactly sure what it was for, but that morning she had received an invite in her mailbox that was delivered to the entire village.

She could guess that the village wanted to go to war. That's all they ever talked about, and usually she didn't attend the meetings that they had, but the invite looked somewhat serious compared to the other invites she had received in her mail box.

Rin stepped out of her house and immediately noticed Anna. Crap, she thought. Anna had become increasingly annoying the last season; she was always asking where the young man went and when he would come back.

"Hello Darling" Anna said to Rin, grabbing her elbow and wrapping her own with Rin's. Guess we are going there together.

"Hello Anna, how are you" Rin asked uninterested. She made small talk with Anna until they reached the council room and then Anna insisted that they sit beside each other.

"They are disgusting" A disgusting man said. His skin was the color of mushrooms; he had many lines of his face despite not looking all that old.

"They eat their own children," an equally disgusting man said.

"We will be doing Gods will if we kill them" A religious man said. Rin could tell he was religious since he wore monk clothing.

Rin began to tune everyone out, simply looking for a councilman that was not speaking gossip and actual reason. The Mayor simply sat at the front of the room and drank red wine while holding onto his young brides waist. Rin had been sitting for an hour without knowing whom they were attacking or an actual reason why. Yawning and sensing the meeting was over she sat up to leave.

"Haha those goblin's deserve what's coming to them" Anna snickered.

Rin's head whipped behind her and she stared wide-eyed at Anna. Goblins? Mia!

"Anna it is of utmost importance you tell me who we are going to war with!" Rin asked Anna, holding her shoulders and shaking them.

"Calm down darling, is something wrong" Anna asked with a crocked smile.

"Just answer me!"

"The goblins darling" Anna began to laugh and Rin ran out of the room too the outskirts of the town.

She leaned against a tree and put her head between her knees. NO NO NO NO! This shouldn't be happening! She had to warn Mia! She had to tell Sesshomaru… Why do I need to tell Sesshomaru?

"Sesshomaru" she silently cried out. She needed him. She felt like such an idiot for leaving him after she finally found him… but she was so confused. She needed time to think, and she needed him to give her some space. She had been an idiot for thinking he would wait for her to get her shit together.

"Sesshomaru, please come back!" She said a little louder. She felt something break inside of her and for some insane reasons she got up and started running from the outskirts of the village to the forest looking for him. She knew she was going to get lost immediately, but this is how she found him the last time, so maybe it would work again. As pathetic as it was to admit, there was no point living life without Sesshomaru. She loved…

Running through the forest this time wasn't as hard as before since she wasn't bleeding or completely insane. She was just a little bit insane. She must have ran a mile or two from the village when she began to scream his name. After an hour or two the feeling of dread came over her that he was seriously gone from her life now. No, no, no!

Eventually Rin got tired and leaned against a tree for support. She knew that she was lost, and that all she could see was darkness, it was pointless for her to continue looking for Sesshomaru or to go back to the village. She will never find either in this darkness. She then laid beside the tree and closed her eyes, hoping that no evil demons or other creatures would find her, and she feel asleep.

To her surprise, and almost a heart attack, she woke up in her bed. She quickly sat up, which was a mistake since her head got really dizzy. She put her knees to her forehead for a second and then she looked around her room to find Sesshomaru standing near her desk looking at her. His expression wasn't hard to read, it was clear he was pissed.

"Why were you alone in the forest passed out" He asked her with anger in his voice.

"I was looking for you, where have you been?" Rin took the covers off her body to find herself naked. "You took my clothes off!" She yelled at him. The only response was an eyebrow twitching up.

Looking around for something to cover herself with she saw Sesshomaru sit on the edge of her small bed beside her. "Well?" she asked again.

Sesshomaru sighed and leaned his shoulders against her wall. "Your clothes were dirty" he answered.

"Really? My bra and panties were dirty too" she questioned him turning to look at him. She held the thin white bed sheet over her chest, not letting his eyes get any access.

Sesshomaru's lips twitched and a small smile appeared on his handsome face. His golden eyes met hers and they locked. Rin then sub-consciously licked her lips, or maybe it was on purpose, reason was starting to leave her.

"Where have you been" she barely got out her lips before Sesshomaru's lips covered hers.

His tongue licked her bottom lip as if asking for permission, which she gladly allowed and opened her mouth. Their lips touched more than a few times and their tongues, or rather Sesshomaru's tongue greedily took over her mouth.

Sesshomaru broke the kiss and Rin immediately grabbed his chin and kissed him back without a response. She gave him a pouty look for teasing her.

"I went to my castle in the west" Sesshomaru said with his hot breath against Rin's lips.

"huh" Rin answered dumbfound. What is he talking about? All she knew was that she wanted his lips back on her own.

"You asked where I went" he told her while he lowered his head to her neck and began to make small kisses on it.

"Oh.. I don't care" Rin put her arms around his neck and tilted her head back to give him more access. She heard him chuckle to himself but she was too concentrated on the urgency of having him inside her to call him on it.

She felt him tug on the sheet covering her chest and she gladly dropped it. He was still working on her neck but he began to suck on her skin and create purplish marks. The feeling of it was amazing and she felt wetness between her legs. Sesshomaru brought his hand to her thighs and squeezed them as if he was asking for permission to enter.

She opened her legs to give him full access. She felt his hand reach her pussy and begin to rub her most sensitive spot. She moaned his name by accident but that seemed to please him. He rub her hard till her opening began to drip, she then felt him begin to thrust one of his fingers inside of her.

She remembered the first time he had done that it had hurt, but this time it didn't. He had curled up his finger inside of her that hit a sensitive part inside of her. After she had loosened up he put two more fingers in and began to force them inside her faster. His mouth had seemed to be done with her neck and with his other hand he began to give her small breast attention.

He licked her nipple softly and it made her squirm. Everything he was doing was making her feel amazing. She felt a built up of tension that was overly amazing exploded in her and she felt her entire body burn and feel cold at the same time. She took her hands and put them on Sesshomaru's shoulders and kissed him. Sesshomaru removed his fingers from her and stroked the side of her stomach.

Rin felt like she wanted to try something new. "Sit at the edge of the bed" Rin told Sesshomaru. His response was a rising of his sexy eyebrows, but he did what he was told. Rin stepped on the bed and kneeled herself in front of him. He seemed to have an idea of what she wanted to do. He then began to remove his clothing till he was naked himself. Rin then took a good look at his member. It was huge like before and she started to wonder if she really could fit it in her mouth.

She brought her lips to the head of his cock and gave it a little lick, which earned her a groan from Sesshomaru. She licked more of his thick cock, and then put the entire head in her mouth. She tried to put the entire thing in her mouth but it hurt her jaw too much. She felt excited at his cock going inside of her and she couldn't wait, but she wanted to make sure he was harder before she put t inside of her.

Rin continued to suck on Sesshomaru's member until he became rock-hard and Sesshomaru started panting. Rin then stood up and put her legs on either side of Sesshomaru. She rubbed her wet pussy seeing that it was eager and kissed Sesshomaru's lips. He kissed her back, putting his hands through her hair. Before she knew it Sesshomaru had thrusted his cock into her. She panted loudly and wrapped her arms around his neck while he shoved her thick cock into her faster than the first time they had sex.

She felt the overpowering feeling coming over her and she came again as his cock hit her clit. Sesshomaru was panted also and his hot breath was hitting her hair. He then brought her back to the bed and began to fuck her while he was on top. Rin cried out a few more times before Sesshomaru finally also came inside of her.

After he was finished he laid beside her, cuddling her close to his body with no intention of letting go. Rin rested for a moment before she kissed Sesshomaru. She then smiled and rested her head back on his chest and fell asleep.

Rin woke up sometime in the day feeling physically worn-out but spiritually awesome. She looked out her window admiring how the sun came in through her window, and then she noticed the old lady staring terrified at something next to Rin. Rin looked from Anna to Sesshomaru, realizing he was completely naked, and he didn't have his disguise on.

Oh shit.


	21. Finished Waiting  and her  Eighteenth Winter

Rin grabbed the closest clothing she could find and ran out her door leaving Sesshomaru behind to sleep. Shit, Shit, Shit. Anna saw him. She's going to tell the old perverted mayor. All Rin really knew about the guy was that he liked red wine, young women, and war. About halfway to the mayor's house Rin caught Anna's wrist and pushed the both of them between a dark alley where people didn't usually walk near.

"Anna, what you saw… well what did you see" Rin asked the older lady who seemed to have been recovering from walking so fast.

Anna looked up at Rin's eyes. "You know what I saw! I knew there was something fishy about that young man and now I know what it is, he's not human is he?"

"He's human" Rin lied. "He was dressed up as a demon… because we are into that kind of thing… do you understand what I'm saying"

Anna gave Rin a stern look and then let out a laugh. "Of course! How foolish of me. There is no way such a nice girl like yourself would get involved with such trouble" Anna said as she and Rin walked back towards there houses.

Rin got to her front door, waving at Anna. I hope she believed me… Rin opened the door to find Sesshomaru waiting for her.

"I didn't mean to leave you… an older lady saw you and I needed to convince her that she didn't" Rin said avoiding to look at Sesshomaru's golden eyes.

"How did you do that?" He asked her, with a look of disbelief on his face.

"I told her…" Rin's could feel her cheeks getting bright pink.

"You told her?" Sesshomaru asked with a slight smile on his face. Damn him, he probably heard the entire conversation.

"I told her… never mind" Rin said and she stomped off to get ready for work. "Feel free to stick around… of course we need to talk later" Rin saw that Sesshomaru had slightly nodded. Uh oh… he's going to tell her she's his again isn't he. Dammit if the sex wasn't as good as it was she would have told him to go away, but there was also another thing… when she was around him her heart speeds up and she feels dizzy. After she's around him for a while she feels so connected to this world, she didn't even know how to explain it. In the middle of getting ready she could hear a noises coming from outside… almost like people were chanting.

Rin went to the front entrance of her house where she found Sesshomaru giving her a strange look.

"What going on" She asked him.

"Looks like you got a mob, guess your little old friend wasn't convinced" he replied.

Rin opened the door to see what Sesshomaru had said was true. They were about forty people at her door with weapons and torches. "Get Out" they all yelled. "We know you are with the goblins".

With everything that happened, Rin had completely forgotten why she went to find Sesshomaru in the first place. That's right, Mia is in trouble! "Sesshomaru I need your help" Rin said as she slammed the door on the mob of villagers and stared at him. God he was so beautiful with his long silver hair and golden eyes.

"Tell me what you want me to do" was his response. He kept his eye contact with her as he stepped towards Rin. When Rin didn't step away as he put his hands on her hips and leaned his neck down so his face was closer to hers.

"We need to go to the goblin's and warn Mia about the attack" Rin said as her eyes stared at his lips. Oh god, she wanted to taste him again.

Sesshomaru let go on Rin's waist and stepped away from her. She heard him whistle recognizing that he was called A-Un. She stepped beside him and he picked her up in princess style while he transported them both to the outskirts of the village where A-Un and Jaken were waiting. Rin didn't say anything and simply though of how she was going to convince Mia to leave and come with her. It really was too dangerous to stay there. Last time she had tired to get Mia to leave Kyro and the Goblins she had failed. She could only hope the time her warnings and evidence would work.

Before Rin knew it she had fallen asleep on top of A-Un. When she woke up and looked around at her surroundings, she realized that she was in the Goblin Kingdom. She looked around again for Sesshomaru but she couldn't find him. Had he left her all by herself because he was tired of her? She couldn't blame him, after all she gave him was lots of trouble.

Rin jumped off A-Un and entered the Kingdom. Last time she was here visiting Mia she had learned how to get into the castle secretly and she took that course of action. Last time she had seen Mia she was having an affair with another Goblin and her son Rinku was doing well. That was all she could remember. She didn't know if her husband Kyro was still beating her or not.

Rin entered the castle grounds with no problem. She went towards the lodge that she had found Mia in before. Entering the small lodge she found that it was empty, aside from a bed in the middle of the space. It looked like someone had cleaned the place recently. Rin left the lodge and went into the castle. She remembered where Rinku's room was and went towards it. She noticed that the castle was poorly staffed and that the guards were all drunk. Making it to Rinku's room she found Mia there.

Mia looked like she had gained a bit more weight, which was a good thing. Rin, forgetting that she breaking in, hugged Mia as tight as possible. Mia let out a scream until she saw that it was Rin who hugged her.

"Oh my god, you scared me!" Mia said as she hugged Rin back. "Crap, you need to hide" Mia pushed Rin into the closet just in time as the guards came up to the doorway to see why Mia had screamed.

Rin couldn't understand the language that was spoken but she understood that Mia was sending them away. When she heard footsteps and the door close she opened the closet to hug Mia again. "I missed you"

"I did too, but what are you doing here?" Mia said as she held her baby in her arms.

"I'm here to warn you, a human village with tons of warriors are planning on attacking the goblin kingdom" Rin told her while they sat down.

"Ha? Humans can't do anything to the Goblins" Mia said laughing more to herself.

"I still think you should leave Mia. Its not safe, the humans may not be stronger than the goblins but they out number them" Rin begged her friend.

"Look stay the night. I'll tell Kyro about what's going on, and he will make the ultimate decision" Mia went to put her baby in the crib and left.

Rin looked at the door that Mia went out of. Why couldn't she see how serious this was? Rin curled up in the chair and decided that she would take a nap, its not like she was going anywhere, Mia had defiantly already told the guards that she was here, she could hear two guards positioned outside the door, 'protecting' her.

Rin woke up the sound of screaming and a baby crying. She looked towards the window to see trees on fire. What? She looked around the room and jumped in shock.

"I thought you left me" Rin said sitting back down in the chair. She was dizzy from the sudden movement.

"Why would you think that" Sesshomaru said sitting in the chair across from her. He looked irritated and tired, but he was not harmed or looked like he had been fighting.

"Because you left me all by myself… I thought that was you way of telling me I was too much trouble than what I was worth" Rin said lowering her glaze. She could feel tears swell up. She would never tell him but she was so relived to see that he had not abandoned her.

"You are worth a hundred times more trouble" he said softly under his breath. "The humans attacked, Mia had warned Kyro's of the attack, and he foolishly didn't believe her. He's dead from what I saw"

Rin didn't say anything. Her throat swelled up. All this happen while she slept. She noticed that the baby was still crying and turned her glaze to it. "Mia"

"She's fine, she's with her lover Getsu, I believe his name is. They are 'fighting' the humans this moment as we speak" Sesshomaru said as if he was bored.

"I need to help her" Rin said, finding it weird the way Sesshomaru talked about Mia.

"Why" Sesshomaru's golden glaze made her freeze where she was.

"Because she's my best friend, she was there when you weren't" Rin let her tears fall, she didn't even know why she was crying. It was just that so many things were happening at once. She lost her home, she was losing her best friend, and she didn't know where she stood with Sesshomaru.

Rin stood up and went over the baby. She didn't know if she should leave the baby or bring it with her. She doubted that Sesshomaru would stay and take care of it, the thought of him doing that actually made her want to laugh. She heard yelling from the hallway and turned her attention to the door. At that moment two human warriors busted through the door. Their swords were bloody and they had blood lust in their eyes.

"This chick looks pretty fucking hot" The taller of the warriors said. He looked at Rin from top to bottom. He focused his eyes on her small breast while the other warrior who was slightly over-weight put his sword away and pulled out a knife.

"Hey girly, how would you like to be our entertainment, our prize, for tonight?" The over weight one said coming closer to Rin. Rin backed away until her back touched the wall. She looked over to the chairs to see that Sesshomaru was gone.

"Sesshom-" Was all she could get out before the overweight one put his sweaty hand over Rin's mouth and the knife to her neck.

"Now, now girly, we can't have you ruin our fun" the taller one said walking closer to her. The baby started crying louder and the taller human looked annoyed. He went over to the baby and brought his bloody sword to the baby's skin. He didn't cut the baby. "Scream and I'll kill your baby" he said. He thinks it's my baby…

The overweight human removed his hand from Rin's mouth and put his hand on her waist. How disgusting. Where is Sesshomaru? He was here a second ago. Just as she thought those things both men collapsed and Sesshomaru's face was right in front of her.

"Where did you go?" Rin yelled at him. Tears began to run down her face.

"I had to kill the men who were planning on burning the castle down, I'm sorry I took so long" Sesshomaru said wiping her tears away.

"I was so scared" Rin put her forehead on his chest and wrapped her arms around his stomach. "I thought they were going to-"

Sesshomaru let out a harsh growl and turned his head to the door. Rin turned her attention to the door also to see Mia standing there, covered in blood. Behind her was Getsu.

"What's going on" Rin asked confused. When Mia didn't answer Rin looked at Sesshomaru.

"Mia was the one who told your village about the Goblins, their weakness, where the king could be found" Sesshomaru said.

Mia looked away, she grabbed her son and left the room with Getsu, not saying anything.

"Sesshomaru, you said Kyro was killed, who killed him?" Rin asked staring into his golden eyes.

"Mia"

Rin found herself on the back of A-Un. She was laying her head on Sesshomaru's lap while he relaxed himself.

"I have no village to return to" Rin said more to herself.

"Do you want to find another one?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Not really"

They rode in silence before Rin sat up to look Sesshomaru in the eyes. "Where do you want to go"

For the first time in her life she saw Sesshomaru look surprised. His eyebrows went up and his mouth was slightly gaped. She took the opportunity to place her lips on his.

"I will go anywhere, you are, even to hell" Sesshomaru replied. He lowered his head and cupped her face with his hands, returning the kiss.


	22. Epilogue

Rin stretched her body as she stood up to get some breakfast. She learned a while ago that Sesshomaru rarely ate during the daylight hours. She turned her head to see him still asleep. His long silver hair covered some of his chest and the thin white sheet covered the juicy parts. His face looked peaceful and she didn't want to disturb his sleep so she snuck away silently.

They were currently in the west, simply enjoying the nature. They hadn't really talked about their relationship, where they were going, or her own morality. It didn't seem to matter, as long as they were together, they were okay.

Rin gave up trying to find a new village or friends. She found that when she forced things like friends and fitting in, it didn't work and she would end up tired. She found that when she let things just happen the way they were suppose to happen life was easier. She had not talked nor tried to talk to Mia since the humans attacked the Goblins. There was no point, Mia had changed, and the friendship was over.

Her current problem was that she had realized she was in love with Sesshomaru. She wanted to be sure he loved her too, but she could never seem to really know. She was terrified of telling him, what if she was just his plaything? Rin did not like the thought of that.

She began to undress and step into the small stream, it was cold so it made her nipples hard. She heard a crunching noise and she turned to look in the direction it came from. It was just Sesshomaru but from the look in his golden eyes she knew exactly what he had planned. He never makes noise unless it's intentional.

"Going to join me" Rin said turning back to the creek. It was deep in the middle of the stream and it went up to her waist. She was hopping she could at least wash herself, but it looked like that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. He brought one of his hands to her breast. He moved his mouth to the right side of her neck kissing and teasing her neck and slightly biting her ear.

Rin turned around so she was facing him. She put her hand on the back of his neck and encouraged him to bring his lips to her own. Sesshomaru lifted her up and brought her to a soft spot in the grass where he gently placed her on her back. She put her legs around his waist and tightened her hold on him. Rin put her lips back on Sesshomaru's and bit his lower lip.

Sesshomaru lifted her hips up to his own and rubbed his erection against her clit. Rin moaned and let her head fall back giving him full access to her neck. Sesshomaru quickly entered her, without any warning. She loved when he did that. He turned her over so that Rin was on her knees while he continued to thrust into her. It felt so amazing even though her hips hurt a bit with the hard thrusts. Sesshomaru put both his hands on her breast twisting her nipples in the process, she moaned his name to his satisfaction.

He was still thrusting inside her when he pushed his hips into his and brought her back to his chest. Rin slightly turned her head to feel his glaze as he took the chance to harshly kiss and bit her lips.

Sesshomaru's thrust became faster and Rin could feel the buildup inside of her, she let Sesshomaru take over completely and came quickly. The heat spread through her body and she became completely numb. She didn't realize he was finished until she found herself laying her head on his chest.

She attempted to sit up on her own, but her hips hurt too much to. Instead she leaned on him and looked down at his face. She brought her hand to his face and placed a small kiss on his lips.

"There is something I want to say" Rin said, feeling her face heat up.

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. His hand was on her waist, he caressed her side with his hands giving her comfort.

"I love you" Rin blurted out, closing her eyes. She felt his hands twitch, stop moving for a second and then continue what they were doing before. Rin open her eyes to see Sesshomaru's face inches away from her own. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. He placed a kiss on her lips and she just knew.

They were always meant to be together, forever.

~The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is (I think) my first FanFiction. Woah. I started writing this while I was in university. I was drinking and drugging, and I would watch anime like Inuyasha, which I use to love as a kid. I would just get so inspired to the point I ended up writing this, which really sucked at first. When I got clean I returned to this fanfic and cleaned it up. I'm not the best writer, and this story was never supposed to be seen by anyone. It was simply suppose to be for my enjoyment.
> 
> Anyways thank you for reading this.
> 
> Thank you everyone who tried to help me improve the story and my writing.


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